Uprooted and Undone

I've Moved Back to Wordpress....

2011-08-13T05:52:00.001-07:00

Oh wordpress, I'm coming back to you -- you with your clean lines and smooth fonts...simple templates that exude design...

Join us:

http://uprootedandundone.wordpress.com/

Investing in Humanity -- The Need to Hope (Part 3 of 3)

2011-08-12T04:44:00.000-07:00

We can see when Hope is alive:

The difference between: good enough and believing for more is right before our eyes.

I diagnosed myself this week with something I didn't know existed: Mission-Depression; the sense of deflation when one realizes life must resume, children must be fed, laundry done, groceries bought.

It's a deflation when you realize that you are able to help, but it has to be from a distance -- for now -- and you aren't sure what that looks like since you just spent a few days immersed in the hands-on.

Investing in Humanity with Giftedness -- Unwrapped?

2011-08-11T05:08:00.000-07:00

The purpose? I love planning structured blogs because inevitably I deviate from the structure. I can't help myself. But I do have a quote from last week that's been marinating in my soul for the past few days...You can tell when I am thinking through things, those who know me know that I start to mix word pictures...creating a mosaic of images that help me (but confuse others?). We'll see...

I woke up blurry eyed in the Regan airport to see this spectacular sunrise.

Evidently, my camera felt the same.

The talk went down a little like this:

"We are meant to have a relationship with others

A relationship with God

And to operate within our own personal giftedness so that we might bring glory to Him."

--Jason, Freedom International

I was tempted to make it a check list. Yep, I have friends. Yep, love God. Yep, I have gifts and I am totally--

Am I totally operating within them?

Investing in Humanity -- The People (Part 2)

2011-08-09T05:51:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation of a call we can answer to the Dominican, or any other hurting part of the world for that matter. My purpose in writing is to expose you to a ministry in which I believe you can be part of the answer. Part 1 can be found here. Freedom International Ministries was our hosting organization. You can learn more about them here.

Yesterday we were introduced to the place and the need presented simply by location. We learned that Haitians are picked up at the border by sugar plantation buses and carted into the sugarcane villages where they work for low wages, are 8-9 hours from their homeland, and whose children possess limited citizenship and international rights. Today, let's learn more about the risk of being a person born in such latitude and longitude.

Investing in Humanity -- The Place (Part 1)

2011-08-08T05:08:00.000-07:00

This series highlights a call we can answer to the Dominican, or any other hurting part of the world for that matter. My purpose in writing is to expose you to a ministry in which I believe you can be part of the answer. Freedom International Ministries was our hosting organization. You can learn more about them here. Part 2 can be found here.

I'm back.

Although I never announced I was leaving.

Last week had my feet pounding the dirt and concrete in the Dominican as we got to know the people of two sugarcane villages, Lima and Pinones.

Humidity rose, sweat dripped, and part of myself mixed into that DR dirt. Rains poured, mud caked feet, and a part of them came home with me.

Theology (is) for Girls: Anxious Adams

2011-07-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

This is a sister blog entry. Be sure to check out Megan's thoughts on the same topic here, as we blog together! Please comment your thoughts on both posts.

Today's blog is taken from Genesis 3. The fall of man and the effects on mankind. Read the story there. You'll find a woman who--for just a moment--forgot that God was good and that she was created in His image. She wanted to be like God, to 'know' like God. But God had already deposited Himself in her...We are left with the after-mess..one in which God has graciously continued to be involved in the cleaning up.

I spent most of this week feeling anxious. Not for anything in particular, but hard for me to sift through all the same.

- I felt anxious because I wasn’t in class this six weeks and I feared I’d forget routine.

- I was anxious for busy schedules and lazy feet.

- Anxious because my creative outlets have been few lately.

- Anxious as I read the news about a young man who murdered his parents. Sad as I imagined how they felt at the hands of their son.

- Anxious that every errand I ran yesterday found me in line twice as long as I was in the aisles.

- Anxious at the grocery store, when I noticed a man in every aisle I was, looking on the very same shelves as me…without a cart or basket in hand...following me and my daughter until a store manager escorted us to our car.

- Anxious as I received another rejection letter and knew that it was time to lay the first manuscript aside.

Sometimes, it feels as if this world is working against me. Time is not necessarily my friend. There are more things to do during the day than my energy allows to accomplish. There are bad people out there that I can’t ignore. There are many others with far greater gifts than I.

It’s a little self-loathing…a little failure to trust in God…a little fear of fellow mankind…a little inability to work the time and tasks the Lord gives me…

A little "last moments in Eden." Don’t you think?

Love is...?

2011-07-16T05:59:00.000-07:00

Summer, summer. Where are you going? I barely saw your face before you turned your back on me!

This week commences my initial planning for the fall. I have two major events to plan: School for the kids and material for a marriage retreat.

Funny how I feel qualified for neither.

As I'm asking God what He'd have me say to these couples, I've been going back to all the basics and asking for a fresh set of eyes.

Today I was in Corinthians, trying to wrap my mind around love. Praying the words so familiar from wall plaques, Valentine cards, and (cringe) marriage conferences would come back alive.

Love is patient...

-When I yell at my children because their room is not clean.

Contrast

2011-06-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

In class we've been studying suffering and our birth bent toward sin. We've covered the wickedness of Nineveh and the prejudice of Israel---Israel so puzzled that God would extend His grace and forgiveness to anyone other than them.

Below is a contrast of verses from what I deserve to what I've been given. Hope it blesses you...

When God Does Things I Don't Understand...

2011-06-24T04:22:00.000-07:00

...I will be watching this video to remind myself of Isaiah's reasoning behind these well-known verses linked to Chan's video here.

A couple months ago, we almost began a dialogue on the book, "Love Wins." I thought it was important to join the conversation, but as I dug into the book I realized how much more important it was to do the subject justice through sound knowledge and teaching. I didn't feel educated enough for such a dialogue.

Now, reading through the OT, I find that God's mercy and judgement don't always make sense to me. One of my classmates asked: Does anyone else have a difficult time rendering the God who would offer mercy to the Ninevites (Jonah) as the same God who would ask for complete annihilate the Canaanites?

I was typing up a response of agreement and then stumbled upon this video:

“Have you ever even considered the possibility that maybe the Creator’s sense of justice is actually more developed than yours?”-Chan

Double or Nothing

2011-06-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

A cool vintage, wooden handled, double measure. Used for espresso of course! Right?

I ran across something this week that I have to share.

2 Kings 2.9:

Elijah is about to be taken up into heaven--the man who has spent his life urging Israel to turn from their idolatry and promiscuity with the nations back to God. He knows the end of his life is nearing and he is trying so hard to shake his mentee, Elisha, away. "Stay here," he says repeatedly.

"No, I'm coming with you," Elisha insists.

As they approach the Jordan, Elijah parts the waters with his cloak--his last miracle--and then turns to his young apprentice and says, "Tell me what I can do for you."

Elisha replied, "Please, let me inherit two shares of your spirit."

Two shares. A double-portion. A first-born son's inheritance.

A Bride on Sunday

2011-06-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a first.

I love saying that...firsts. They sprinkle the sparkle of life into everyday.

We had a wedding as our church service. A bride in the Bride of Christ.

It was stunning, as I watched my friend walk down the aisle and I asked myself: Why have we never done this before? Why don't we marry here, on Sunday, with our church family, on the Sabbath, in the holy of holies we create to remind ourselves...

Of all that has been and all that will be.

I watched a covenant form today. I watched the strands come together in a braid of life eternal and was mesmerized because we

Are able.

Since the first call of the first man we have been given permission to enter into covenant-- with Him we don't deserve yet He who fills us freely...

Until we overflow.

Like my eyes this morning. An overflow...Blessed to witness the covenant. To uphold the Bride and her Groom. Blessed to watch my man perform the ceremony and know that we've kept our part of those three strands together for nearly nine years now.

A Whole Lot of Learnin' Goin' On

2011-06-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

I thought summer was for sunshine against skin, sand between toes, and laundry on the line.

It appears I just don't know how to relax because here I am reading textbooks and taking classes. Once again, starting on the journey of finishing. Finishing my degree, achieving a dream, a soaking up as much knowledge as I can because let's face it--I might just be addicted to learning. It makes me happy.

Definition of Grace

2011-05-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 1.9:

If the Lord of Hosts had not left us offspring, we would have become like Sodom, and we would have been made like Gomorrah.

The hard questions of the character of God are simply backwards. It is not: "How could a loving God wipe out entire cities?"

But how could God -- the artist of all -- allow me to still exist?

After all I have done? My sin is like a black smear of paint on the canvas of a masterpiece, and yet He chooses to use me as part of the final product.

And...not only can He bear us, but the King is enthralled by our beauty (psalm 45.11). How?

Because He is a loving God.

Love, Mom

2011-05-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

There's a thing with unity--with family.

It means we operate as one.

It means we rejoice as one.

It means we toil as one.

Yet still this 'oneness' is comprised of many parts that make independent decisions, who have independent struggles, who grow at varying rates and have different seasons of dormancy. And I learned something this week:

Day 37 - Put out the Fire and Follow

2011-05-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

Judges 5.10-18 (HCSB)

You who ride on prize donkeys comfortably mounted on blankets
And you who walk down the roads,
ponder, attend!
Gather at the town well
and listen to them sing,
Chanting the tale of God's victories,
his victories accomplished in Israel.

Hello, My Name's Eve. That's spelled M-A-R-I-A-N

2011-05-01T19:05:00.000-07:00

Peaches have Pits. Apples have Cores.

Pomegranates have seeds and are messy little boogers, staining fingers, chins, and counter-tops.

But let's be honest--it doesn't matter what Eve ate; I would have done the same.

The Low-Budget Chore Chart: One for Girls and Boys

2011-04-29T18:15:00.000-07:00

We have four kids and one income.

Oh, and I'm a TV & Video game hater.

I made this chart as a way to get the kids to work, as well as give them an option of earning a small amount of money. It also offered a way to regulate TV and Wii time. In our house, Morning and Afternoon Chores ONLY equal TV or Wii time and don't carry over from day to day. No chores, no time.

Once the morning and afternoon chores are finished, they can start earning extra time or money.

The only way they can earn money is to do the extra chores and keep tally. These are the only chores that can be traded for cash. 1/2 Hour = 50 cents. I can afford this. Totally!

This is a list for my 7 & 11 year old. If I'm a slave driver, don't tell them.

Finally, the 5, 10, and 15 minute categories are not how long the chore will take, but how many minutes they can earn for completion of the chore. I ranked them by level of effort required. So, if "D" wants to do six 5-minute chores, he earns thirty minutes of TV, Video game time OR $0.50 for the day!

Comment with questions or ideas! Print and laminate for easy clean every week!

Girl Chore List

Boys Chore Chart

Taking a Break with the Kids...

2011-04-25T06:31:00.001-07:00

Day 36 - Set Apart to God

2011-04-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Picking up where we left off yesterday: We're in Judges 5.

v.2 (IB) - For the loosing of locks of hair in Israel; for the willing offering of the people, bless Jehovah.

v.2 (Msg) - When they let their hair down in Israel, they let it blow wild in the wind. The people volunteered with abandon, bless God!

Just what does a sacrifice of oneself to God look like?

Day 35 - God's Heart Beats Loudest In...

2011-04-20T05:08:00.000-07:00

"Your hands, those are My hands. Your feet, those are my feet. Your heart, that's my heart. If it's not beating, it's not beating on this earth anymore." -- Eric Ludy, see the video at the end.

Judges 5.6-10

In the days of Shamgar son of Anath, in the days of Jael,
the main ways were deserted because travelers kept to the side roads.
Villages were deserted, they were deserted in Israel,
until I, Deborah, arose, a mother in Israel.
Israel chose new gods, then war was in the gates
Not a shield or spear was seen among 40,000 in Israel.
My heart is with the leaders of Israel, with the volunteers of the people.
Praise the Lord!
You who ride on white donkeys, who sit on saddle blankets
and who travel on the road, give praise!

Look at the scene set here: This part of Deborah's song is describing the state of public affairs before the battle, before and during the call of Deborah. It's not all roses, is it?

All of Canaan's major arteries for trade and travel were desolate. Why were the roads abandoned? Why were people choosing to travel on the back routes, through the pits and valleys and secret trails tying towns together?

Jesus Apathy - How to Make it Through the Low Years

2011-04-18T05:29:00.000-07:00

This guy doesn't struggle with vision or purpose. He knows exactly what he wants from life--That flower.

We are not done asking the questions:

What moves us?

Why are we sometimes moved and other times stagnant?

My husband has a book on vision and it says this:

That vision is birthed from an idea. We become so passionate about this idea that we can even lose sleep at night while we ponder the idea from all sides and at every dimension. Eventually, as we place this idea before the Lord, he allows a vision to be born within our spirit that includes what role we will play.

I like all that quite a bit. But the author also says this:

No Delay

2011-04-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

And to think for all this time I imagined the gift of eternal life was delayed.

I was wrong.

Eternal life begins not at the hour of our death, but commences the second we embrace Jesus.

What should I do with it?

Day 34 - Mountains Melt, I Move

2011-04-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

Now, we are going to get into the reason I chose Deborah. Her song. The song is one of two songs that are considered the oldest pieces of recorded literature we have in the Bible. The second is Miriam’s song and dance after crossing the Red Sea. Both are considered literary masterpieces.

"Anonymous Extaordinaries"

2011-04-11T18:43:00.000-07:00

First, she's a phenomenal communicator.
Second, she's overflowing with passion and purpose.
Third, it spills onto me.

Enjoy the entire video. It's worth it.

Hard Stop: Kick the Bucket

2011-04-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

(Where's a nail and a hammer when I need one? Holy Buckets. That's what we're after.)

I have been been thinking and I need your insight.

When I first encountered Jesus, it was like the fire had been kindled beneath me; my life-dish was still bland, but at least I was cooking.

As I've grown--people I've met, mentors I've had, conversations I've joined, teaching I've soaked up--all tossed a spice into my pot. My dish is starting to smell savory. My flavor is a little more pleasing.

But this requires people. God-people so that I might be ready to serve Hungry People. Otherwise those Hungry People will spit my dish back out--bland on the palate, mushy to the tongue.

Everyday tools. Everyday people. Everyday simmering to draw people to Jesus.

Day 33 - Spatulas, Vacuums, Iron Tent Pegs

2011-04-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

We’re looking over some battle plans today: Judges 4.11-24

Parts to be Played:

Jabin - king of Canaan

Sisera - commander of Jabin’s army

Heber the Kenite - engaged in peace treaty with Jabin, but forgot to tell his wife. We don't meet him.

Jael - one brazenly bold and opinionated woman who God uses as His hand of justice

Judges 4.11 is a seeming unimportant detail. Who in the world is Heber the Kenite and why do we care where his tent moved?

The Kenites were associated with Jethro’s clan, their name referring to ‘metalworkers, or smiths’. Obviously it’s significant. Keep it in mind and we’ll see it tie in later.

Day 32 - Mother of Israel

2011-04-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

Deborah, Mother of Israel. Israel, God's Pearl.

Remember that lesson on repetition in the Hebrew yesterday?

The first part of Judges is emphasized with: And in those days a generation rose that didn’t know God or the works He had done.

But there is another verse in Judges, equally as haunting and piercing: It’s found in 17.6,18.1,19.1, and 21.25. In fact, it’s the closing scripture for the entire book:

In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did whatever he wanted.

It’s easy to imagine a life like this—just insert ‘self’ where God belongs and you have a life lived for whatever you please. We aren’t all created with an equal moral compass. I’ve encountered people with a strong sense of right and wrong and community responsibility—it seems to come natural to them. Here I am floundering through life trying to keep the blindfold off my eyes so I can tell North from South. My moral compass has always been a little wacky. It takes intentional time with the King of Kings to keep it true.

Day 31 - Nest Among Thorns

2011-04-04T05:12:00.000-07:00

Peace. Rest. Israel's nest was surrounded by thorns.

God's symbolic gift of eternity to the Israelites had strayed so severely from the original intent of the land that reality was a reflection of God's plan through shattered glass.

But there are still leaders--there are still people--there is still God, so there must still be hope. Remember the system of judgeship Jethro had suggested to Moses during his visit? It was still in place. At the time of Moses, Jethro had suggested Israel’s men be chosen as judges of Israel.

Deborah was living in the Promised Land following the expulsion of the Canaanites and serving as one of Israel’s judges. As we saw Friday, the judgeship of Deborah was preceded by three men—Othniel, Ehud, and (briefly) Shamgar—so the fact that she has been chosen by the Lord to be judge of Israel is a great indication of the health of the nation: no one else was volunteering.

Don't read more into that than there is. By the time we are finished, we will see Deborah as a woman who was embraced by her male-counterparts, some refusing to enter battle without her. She was wildly brave, bold, and revered.

Day 30 - Refusing Rest

2011-04-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

I could rest here...no problem.

Do you agree that at any one point in life, we are either camping with Franklin or Pascal?

- He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities. - Benjamin Franklin

- Our nature consist in motion; complete rest is death. - Blaise Pascal

The failure of the tribes of Israel to defeat the Canaanites and eliminate them from the land escorted in the worship of Baal and Ashtoreth, causing the Lord’s anger to burn against Israel just as Joshua had warned in his farewell speech in Joshua 23.16.

True to His promises, Judges 2.14 says, “the Lord handed them over to marauders who raided them and sold them to the enemies around them, and they could no longer resist their enemies.”

Day 29 - I'm All Inside-Out

2011-03-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

Where's Deborah? I know, I know. It's like I named the study but had no intentions of actually writing about her. I could get there a whole lot faster if there wasn't so much food for thought in the earlier scenes of Judges. She's coming. Soon. But part of the importance in her role is the build-up to: Why? Why her? Why not someone else?

So, what exactly was it that God has asked of the Israelites when they came to inhabit their inheritance of the Promised Land? (Judges 2.2.)

Do not make a covenant with the people living in the land.

Tear down their alters.

But the Israelites failed to obey.

I think that in all of scripture, OT and NT included, there is nothing more the Lord values in the hearts of those who belong to Him than Love and Obedience. I was thinking of the greatest commandment that Jesus laid out for us in the NT, and this is something that pulsed through my prayer time this morning.

Love and Obedience.

Judges 2.3, God says, “Therefore, I now say: I will not drive out these people before you. They will be thorns in your sides, and their gods will be a trap for you.”

Wait a second! We just heard from Paul about the thorn in his flesh and we know that in our weakness, God’s power is at its finest! Was the Lord was giving the Israelites a chance to be weak and humble before him?

Does the Lord allow for thorns? Do the pricks in our side allow us to empty of ourselves and increase with Him? If we are trapped in worship of the idols around us, what will set us free? Who will set us free?

Judges 2.4, And when the Angel of the Lord had spoken all these words to the Israelites, the people wept loudly.

The Israelites responded with outward repentance.

They wept loudly.

2.5 says they renamed the place they were standing and offered sacrifices to the Lord. Sacrifices. Which is better—obedience or sacrifice?

These are some of the things scripture doesn’t mention. It doesn’t say the Israelites:

Finished Driving Out the Enemy

Offered Sacrifices

Took Down the Alters of Baal

Prayed for Forgiveness

Broke Covenants with Canaan

Jesus addresses such outward signs of righteousness that don’t align with inner repentance and humility before God. Matthew 6.5, Jesus is talking about the prayers of the hypocrites, saying they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. Jesus tells us to go into a private room and shut the door, and pray to your Father who is in secret.

Inward responses. Inward communion with the Father. Inward submission to His requests, His desires, makes outward obedience natural—it sets the bar for our default actions.

Inward repentance. Inward commitment. Inward meditation. Inward transformation.

I get tired of all the outward Jesus’. The kind where we think it’s up to us to make sure everyone knows what the others are supposed to be doing. The kind where we have our own dictionary for all the Christianese-vocabulary. Where we see hurting and pain and announce from the church foyer that “We’ll be praying for you.” Paint on the sad eyes and the downcast expressions and the outward picture is complete. What if I forget by the time I get home? Why can't I just haul you down on the foyer sofa right then and there?

I want an inward Jesus in me. I want to inhale the Word so deeply in the mornings that it clings to the fabric of my being like the smell of cigarettes clings to a smoker’s jacket. I want Jesus to permeate everything I do, all I say, and each event on my calendar.

I want to learn to pray in small ways for big things.

I want to learn to love in small ways for everyday.

Because I’ve tried living as an outward-only Jesus and it was a massive failure. We don’t fool anyone when we are outward Christians. They can see through our smokescreen. They can call our bluff. Our Christianese sounds a lot like judgment. Our prayers sound like embellished mantras of politicians.

Bring on the thorn bush, Lord, if it means that I will lessen so that you can increase. Somewhere, I think my image of Jesus has been painted by the culture around me. I need you to give me a clean canvas, time to dig in your Word, and the ability to retain all I learn within. If you promise to hold the brush and mix the colors—I think the inward remodeling will be visible from the outside.

When my insides are full and overflowing with the truth and grace and love of Jesus, then I will seek first everything important to the Kingdom. I will serve out of default. I will love in small ways everyday. I will make the most of my fleeting breath here on earth.

"For the Son of Man has come to seek and save the lost." I'm not lost anymore. I'm hungry to help Him.

For more on the inward condition of the heart and the outflow of our mouths... Read Matthew 15.10-20.

Day 28 - Break the Cycle

2011-03-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

Not this cycle...it's too pretty.

What if we aren’t good enough? I know I dwell a lot on self-worth and identity, but we have to release our hold on perfection so that perfection cannot stake claim to us.

It is when we realize we are not good enough that God is able to show off in our lives.

Remember my arsenal? The one I believed was packed with confidence? I have learned that what the Lord asks us to keep in our arsenal is nothing like what we would expect.

These are the things I thought I needed:

A completed college education instead of 4 ½ years of undirected, random studies

More time

Greater levels of energy

More head-knowledge

Seminary

Accomplish a vast and immediate-retrieval bank of memorized scripture (working on this)

Attendance at more conferences

Large quantities of networked connections

More experiences that give greater wisdom

Deeper insight

Better ideas for projects to work on

Oh, the list goes on. You have a list, too. What have you believed that your personal arsenal needed to hold in order to gain ground in this life?

After them a generation rose up who did not know the Lord of the works He had done for Israel.

Judges 2.10b

According to that scripture, what two things should be in our arsenal?

1. __________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________

To know the Lord and the works He has done.

Is it possible that that’s all we need to face our chariots?

Paulo Coelho wrote one of the best essays I have ever read as a preface to his book, The Alchemist. In it, he said that the difference between a person who succeeds in their dreams and a person who fails is that they both fall on their face twelve times, but the latter only stands back up eleven times.

Don’t let those iron chariots pin us down.

This is what I realized while studying this section of Judges:

After Failure convinces me that she owns my passion and defeated my calling, her best friend, Depression, rolls in it to finish the job. We meet face to face on the battle field of my mind, Depression and I—and whispering all my deepest fears and insecurities to the minutest of details, begging me to give in and plop my derrière in the middle of the grassy battlefield, waving the white flag of surrender over my head.

Depression rolls in through a fog (or an email) and I don’t see her coming until her wheel is upon my chest, suffocating my desire to dream. The sound of air rushing out deafens my ears so that I am unable to hear the voice of God as He tries to speak into my hopelessness.

Sure, she leaves as quickly as she comes, but not quickly enough for me. Even just a few days of her torturous thick cloud are enough erase the trail I was following. I try find the will to continue, but she has taken hostage of her arch enemy—Joy. And when Joy is stolen, it takes a while to raise her ransom.

It’s a cycle.

Joy, Purpose, Action, Failure, Depression. Heavy stuff; iron chariots at their finest.

But I’m not alone.

Throughout the entire OT, and specifically in Judges, Israel danced a dance before the Lord that looked something like this—her faithfulness vacillating with her lustful eyes for other gods.

Apostasy or rejection of God

Punishment by oppression from an enemy tribe

Cry out to God for relief and salvation

Redemption or release from oppression

A period of rest among the Israelites

Over and over and over again, she rejected God and then cried out to Him in her distress. Today I tell you about Israel’s cycle, next time I will show you in scripture.

“Israel did what was evil in the Lord’s sight…” 2.11, 3.7, 3.12, 4.1…and the list keeps going.

Have you known a person stuck in such a cycle? Have you been a person such as this?

Goodness knows I have.

How do we stop the cycle of feeling failure?

2 Corinthians 12.8-10, 13.3-5. Paul is talking to the Corinthians of the thorn in his flesh, and then of the repentance among the body of believers there in Corinth.

"Concerning this [thorn in the flesh], I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.

He is not weak toward you, but powerful among you. In fact, He was crucified in weakness, but He lives by God’s power.

Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith. Examine yourselves. Or do you yourselves not recognize that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless you fail the test. And I hope you will recognize that we do not fail the test."

1. Test yourselves for faith.

2. Examine yourselves.

3. Recognize that when Jesus is in you, you do not fail the test.

When we reach the place of realization that there is not enough within us for the job at hand, we should dive into the task God has set before us—because humility has come. Our weaknesses exposed, their cavities the perfect mold for His power.

Failure isn’t a part of Jesus’ victory on the cross.

I Grow Here

2011-03-26T04:43:00.000-07:00

Please, can you hear ? Don't trample me, for I grow here.

It's hard, taking root, standing tall-- each morning unfolding with fear:

Am I invisible, hurried feet? Am I silent, buzzing ears?

Then, you bend down -- breath so sweet -- it melts my deep-seeded despair.

Now this I know, from where I stand: I grow for a child's revere.

Day 27 - Iron Chariots of Defeat

2011-03-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

A valley outside Jerusalem.

A generation rose up who did not know the Lord or the works He had done.

After Judges 2.6-13 we flip back to Judges 1. Joshua has died and the Israelites want to know who is going to fight for them. After all, the land has been promised to them and Joshua is dead, so now what? Are they supposed to stand here and look at the panorama, or are they supposed to possess the land?

“Who?” they ask.

The Lord answers, “Judah is to go. I have handed the land over to him.” Let the military conquests begin.

Judah was well on his way to eliminating Canaanites from the land until one day they encounter an army with iron chariots.

Iron chariots. Why are these chariots such a big deal? Pharaoh has chariots as early as Genesis. The Israelites were chased with all the chariots in the land of Egypt during the exodus. So why is Judah intimidated?

Iron.

The Canaanites were cutting edge in warfare technology when they drove the iron chariot onto the battle field. Iron was heavy, destructive, and an enemy to wood and flesh.

Watch as Israel is crushed in the conquest to possess the Promised Land. Remember the diagram of the tribal arrangement during the wilderness years? Notice all except Gad and Reuben are mentioned here.

1.19 says that Judah couldn’t drive them out of the land because of these iron chariots. (Simeon was with Judah in part of the battles.)

1.21 says the Benjamites failed to drive out the people from the land, and instead, they lived together in Jerusalem!

1.25 says that the house of Joseph allowed a man and his entire family to escape and establish the city of Luz once again in the north, Carchemish (it was along the route Abram took when he left Haran).

1.27 Manasseh failed and the Canaanites refused to leave, agreeing to forced labor instead.

1.29 Ephraim failed and the Canaanites lived among them.

1.30 Zebulun failed, so the Canaanites lived among them and served as forced labor.

1.31 Asher failed and the Canaanites lived among them.

1.33 Naphtali failed and the Canaanites lived among them and served as forced labor.

1.34 The Danites were chased into the hill country and the Amorites refused to let them down into the valley while also refusing to leave their land. Finally, the house of Joseph gained the upper hand and forced the Amorites into labor.

And it was all catalyzed by the failure of Judah to see that the Lord could defeat iron chariots.

I understand, Judah. I face iron chariots regularly. Sometimes they plow me right over.

Yesterday, I opened an email with a simple question from a friend who was helping me edit a novel. It read: “What was the point here? Why do you do what you do? And if possible, answer me in a single sentence…or better yet, one word.”

My husband came downstairs to find me sitting in front of my computer in tears. (There’s some femininity for you!) I didn’t have a deep answer. One word would be: God. But is that cliché? My friend’s understated question was an iron chariot standing up against everything I have been working to accomplish.

Accomplish what? My spirit twisted inside, afraid that purpose was dying.

Dear Marian, “What was the point here? Why do you do what you do?” Oh, let’s be honest. The question rocked my world and much too easily packed me a punch of defeat.

And I thought my arsenal was packed with confidence.

If I had been Judah, I would have sat right down in the middle of that battle field and thought to myself, “The task is too great. I am nothing but a (wo)man in the face of this unseen greatness. These weapons are like nothing I’ve seen before. I was not prepared or trained for this.”

Which is what happened with all these tribal leaders, isn’t it? They reached the point when they recognized the task laid out before them was greater than what they were able to accomplish as mere mortal men.

What’s the word we use when we realize we just aren’t good enough?

Failure.

Oh Nephtali, Ephraim, Benjamin, and Judah. I know how your failure feels. Sometimes, it’s easier to live with the enemy than to stand up and fight.

But when the Lord tells us that something is ours, a dream, a hope, a task to accomplish, then we get to hold on tight.

Judah heard from God that the land had been handed to him. 1.19 says that the Lord was with Judah and enables them to take possession of the hill country, but they could not drive the people who were living in the valley because those people had iron chariots.

That’s right. I forgot. God’s not big enough to conquer those iron chariots.

So what happened? The Israelites had forgotten this entire battle was only occurring because Yahweh had promised them the land.

And when God makes a promise, you just have to show up equipped for walking because He is leading the way.

Faithlessness. Their first failure was faithlessness. Before they ever stepped into that valley of iron chariots, the people had lost sight of God.

We should hold tight. Hold tight to Him when it looks like failure is unavoidable. But even more than that we should remember:

It is never easier to live with the enemy. Sunrise and sunset the enemy is biting at your heels, making you wish for the days when it was just you and God in that wilderness.

Sleepy Morning Manna

2011-03-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

We had company this week and took the boys swimming last night. We have a water bug on our hands. Our slice of Africa has no problems diving in head first and trying to swim. She had to learn to ask before jumping, just to make sure someone was there to pull her up so she wouldn't drown!

Nathan and I are sleepy this morning...

So, the study isn't edited, but I do have food for thought that I have been rolling around in my head yesterday and today. It sounds like this:

Exodus 16

15 When the Israelites saw it, they asked one another, "What is it?" because they didn't know what it was.
Moses told them, "It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat.

16 This is what the Lord has commanded: 'Gather as much of it as each person needs to eat. You may take two quarts per individual, according to the number of people each of you has in his tent.'"17 So the Israelites did this. Some gathered a lot, some a little.18 When they measured it by quarts, the person who gathered a lot had no surplus, and the person who gathered a little had no shortage. Each gathered as much as he needed to eat. 19 Moses said to them, "No one is to let any of it remain until morning."

20 But they didn't listen to Moses; some people left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and smelled. Therefore Moses was angry with them.21 They gathered it every morning. Each gathered as much as he needed to eat, but when the sun grew hot, it melted. 22 On the sixth day they gathered twice as much food, four quarts apiece, and all the leaders of the community came and reported [this] to Moses.

So we see the Israelites waking up each morning and collecting what they need. Two quarts per person per family. It was sweet, a little like honey flakes. I imagine the first month or so, it tasted pretty good.The awe and wonder that came when breakfast appeared... as the dew faded and the manna was left.

I can imagine the people gathering their quarts; I can feel the initial insecurities that came with the questions, "Will it really be here tomorrow? Will God really keep sending provisions, or is this like a welcome-to-the-desert gift? Will he leave us to our own devices soon?"

Then, I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. It builds and builds from personal issues to heavenly truths. Toward the end, in Matthew 6, Jesus gets down to the heart of us all. Our financial worries--the feeling that maybe God wants us to care for ourselves.

It starts with how to give 6.1-4, then on how to pray. And then we get the sweetness of the Lord's prayer:

"Give us this day our daily bread..." Manna.

Jesus wanted his disciples to experience the sweetness of living a life in constant dependency on God and his provisions.

Jesus knew it was a blessing to collect that manna each morning and know Who left it on the ground.

Then it talks about fasting... Fasting after talking about giving, praying, and daily bread.

And then Jesus talked about treasures on earth that rust and are stolen and eaten by moths.

My internal sensors are firing... There's something going on inside. I can feel something shifting.

My soul echoes Jesus words, "Why do I worry about tomorrow? Why do I think about what I'll wear or the food I'll eat? I want to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Show me how." (Matthew 6.25-33)

And I get it. I have collected more than my share of manna. I collected more than my two quarts. I've collected my two quarts, your two quarts. I have the two quarts of the orphan who doesn't have a home. I have the two quarts that belongs to the widow down the road. I have the two quarts of the homeless man under the railroad tresel. I have the two quarts of the starving.

Recently, I found a world map that shows the number of calories consumed each day around the world. The average person in the US consumes 3600 calories. The average person throughout India or African nations...less than 1600. I have their two quarts...

In my bank. In our retirement. In the curtains in the living room.

No. We don't have to live like paupers. It's not sinful to buy material goods. It's not wrong to want a new dress, or live in a nice home.

But Jesus indicated there is a sweetness in living in daily dependency on God's provisions. There's a blessing in collecting the manna each day and allowing others to have the rest. I want all of Jesus, but this one is so hard.

My manna jars are beginning to stink. I can see worms inside.

Day 26 - Sparks Fly: Intro to Deborah

2011-03-21T05:07:00.000-07:00

I need some girl-time. While I love those strong manly-men of the Bible, I am in need of an estrogen-filled female who has a thing or two two teach us.

So we're headed to the female lead of Deborah. Her story is told in the book of Judges .

Let’s get scholarly for just a minute as we set the context for the book of Judges. One time line proposed:

1526-1406 B.C. - Moses was believed to live.

1490-1380 B.C. - Joshua lived.

1360-1300 B.C. - When Deborah lived.

The Exodus from Egypt across the Red Sea is estimated to be 1446 B.C.

The crossing of the Jordan River into the Promised Land was in 1406 B.C.

In order to start at the first of Judges, we actually have to go to Judges 2.6-13. It’s a flashback of the death of Joshua that takes place before Judges 1. (For more on who Joshua is turn to: Deut. 34.5-12)

Summarize Judges 2.6-7,10b-14 below:

Joshua sent the people away to and the Israelites went to take possession of the land, each to his own inheritance. The people worshiped the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and the elders who outlived Joshua. They had seen all the Lord’s great works He had done for Israel.

After them another generation rose up who did not know the Lord or the works He had done for Israel. The Israelites did what was evil in the Lord’s sight. They worshiped the Baal's and abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of Egypt. They went after other gods from surrounding peoples and bowed down to them. They infuriated the Lord, for they abandoned Him and worshiped Baal and the Ashtoreths.

“The Lord’s anger burned against Israel and He handed them over to marauders… He sold them to enemies… The Lord was against them…”

I don’t know how to describe a darker time in the spirituality of Israel.

A generation rose up who did not know the Lord or the works He had done.

How could they? Only one generation removed from the mighty Exodus of Egypt? How could they forget? How could they let the pagan gods grip them so tightly, so quickly?

If Israel had a hard time only forty years removed from the generation who saw the Red Sea part, then where does that leave us? Us, who live 1980+ years after Jesus walked the earth. Us, who are 66+ generations removed from his death and resurrection.

Perspective is granted when we consider how phenomenal it is that you and I even heard the truth of Jesus, and how even more amazing it is that the church doesn't just stand today, but thrives.

Am I thriving?

Or am I loosening the straps of the yoke around my neck so I might gain some wiggle room?

Am I telling the next generation of the all the mightier-than-me stories from my life? That is the way the glory story is pours down, isn't it, by the remembering and the telling of Greatness?

Am I writing it down, giving ink to the fingerprints of God so that others may know: He's been here. He's redeemed this mess named Marian.

Am I shouting it to the ends of the earth--amplifying the message through silent hands that serve?

A generation rose up who did not know the Lord of the works He had done for Israel...

We'll dive into Judges Wednesday, going backwards to Chapter 1 to be a painful onlooker at the defeat of Israel at every turn. But out of the soul-darkness rises one woman who is willing to serve. One woman to serve because the men would not. She is the flint to a nation of steel -- sparking again their passion for Yahweh.

I pray the spark takes flight if you have found your soul dark.

_________________________________________________________

Ideas for story-telling of the mightier-than-us events in our own lives. Yes, it's a blessing for those that hear, but maybe more for the one that remembers.

1. Take one night a week, maybe Sundays so it becomes habit, to tuck your kids in and tell stories of you. They will listen, eyes wide, smiles pasted on, as you spin a clearer image of the depth and diameter of their roots.

2. Teach a kids class. I have been SO blessed to teach the older kids on Sunday mornings. They are peeled when I share a story from my own life that tells them God moved on my behalf. It makes the Gospel come alive--and it breathes life into the one who teaches--just watching the stories get soaked up by thirsty sponges.

3. Write them down. If you don't journal, you should start. Keep record of how God shows up just when you think He won't. Or maybe a photo-journal might be in order. When we were going through Sage's adoption, I had friends who took pictures of EVERYTHING along the way. God moved so much in our lives during that year, I wish I would have documented every gift that arrived in the mail, every 'set-back' that found me crying in the pillow...all of it...because in the end, He won. She's home.

4. Fill in the blank here. How will you get the glory-story out?

Day 25 - Why Control Starves the Soul

2011-03-18T05:24:00.000-07:00

Hubs took this picture in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Finally, let’s turn to Exodus 18.

Daddy’s comin’ for a visit!

Remember Jethro, Moses’ Midianite father-in-law who invited Moses into the family, taught him all he needed to know about the business of caring for a flock, blessed Moses in his calling, and sent him back to Egypt?

He is returning to Moses in the wildnerness--bringing with him Zipporah and her sons. We aren't sure when Zipporah left Egypt, but at some point, Moses--being of nature to protect and preserve--sent his family away.

The names of their two sons may tell the story: We know Gershom, 'for I have been a stranger in a foreign land' but the second son is named Eliezer, for Moses said, 'the God of my father was my helper and delivered me from Pharaoh's sword.'

When?

After Moses fled? Did Moses know the God of his fathers then?

Or after he met the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the bushes? After God introduced himself as the God of his fathers?

And at what point did Moses get it? Enough to name the tangible flesh of his seed a living testimony to all God had promised. Was it while they were traveling to Egypt that Zipporah found out she was pregnant, or was it after the first plague when Moses truly saw the hand of Yahweh at work?

We don't know. But Moses did get it. And here was his family, returning to him. Jethro in the lead. Watch this passionate and zealous man named Jethro. The hand of God energizes this old man.

This long passage sets the stage. Read Exodus 18.7-27[MG1] .

⁷ So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, bowed down, and then kissed him. They asked each other how they had been and went into the tent. ⁸ Moses recounted to his father-in-law all that the LORD had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel's sake, all the hardships that confronted them on the way, and how the LORD delivered them.

⁹ Jethro rejoiced over all the good things the LORD had done for Israel when He rescued them from the Egyptians. ¹⁰ "Blessed is the LORD," Jethro exclaimed, "who rescued you from Pharaoh and the power of the Egyptians, and snatched the people from the power of the Egyptians. ¹¹ Now I know that the LORD is greater than all gods, because He did wonders at the time the Egyptians acted arrogantly against Israel."

¹² Then Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat a meal with Moses' father-in-law in God's presence.

¹³ The next day Moses sat down to judge the people, and they stood around Moses from morning until evening. ¹⁴ When Moses' father-in-law saw everything he was doing for them he asked, "What is this thing you're doing for the people? Why are you alone sitting as judge, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening?"

¹⁵ Moses replied to his father-in-law, "Because the people come to me to inquire of God. ¹⁶ Whenever they have a dispute, it comes to me, and I make a decision between one man and another. I teach them God's statutes and laws."

¹⁷ "What you're doing is not good," Moses' father-in-law said to him. ¹⁸ "You will certainly wear out both yourself and these people who are with you, because the task is too heavy for you. You can't do it alone. ¹⁹ Now listen to me; I will give you some advice, and God be with you. You be the one to represent the people before God and bring their cases to Him. ²⁰ Instruct them about the statutes and laws, and teach them the way to live and what they must do. ²¹ But you should select from all the people able men, God-fearing, trustworthy, and hating bribes. Place them over the people as officials of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. ²² They should judge the people at all times. Then they can bring you every important case but judge every minor case themselves. In this way you will lighten your load, and they will bear it with you. ²³ If you do this, and God so directs you, you will be able to endure, and also all these people will be able to go home satisfied."

²⁴ Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said. ²⁵ So Moses chose able men from all Israel and made them leaders over the people [as] officials of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. ²⁶ They judged the people at all times; the hard cases they would bring to Moses, but every minor case they would judge themselves.

²⁷ Then Moses said goodbye to his father-in-law, and he journeyed to his own land.

I want to paint a vivid picture of the role that Moses was now playing in the lives of the Hebrews, but first, I don’t want to leave out how this man of God and father-in-law of Moses greeted his hard-working son-in-law.

Jethro sends a messenger ahead to announce his arrival with his daughter and grandsons. Moses—who we now know is busy from sunrise to sunset—is able to leave his duties to greet his family. With respect that was customary of men in position, Moses, bows down and kisses Jethro.

This is indicative of two things: First, both Moses and Jethro saw one another as men of authority and position. Jethro sent a messenger ahead, recognizing Moses’ status among the Hebrews, and Moses came out to greet Jethro and bow down before him, showing esteem for the man who was his father by marriage.

But that’s not all. After they greet one another, they begin to talk of the works of the Lord. Jethro is impassioned by the stories he has heard, in awe of the power of Yahweh. Can you see excitement dance in Jethro’s eyes as he and Moses talk? Can you feel the breeze brush your cheeks as his hands fly through the air, recounting the stories he’s heard and asking if they are accurate?

Can’t you feel the swelling of Moses as he again reflects on all the work that the Lord accomplished?

If that isn't enough in-law-sweetness for you, once the two men finish talking and catching up, they go together to worship and sacrifice to the Lord before joining the elders of Israel for a meal-- a meal in the presence of God, no less.

Jethro's interest in the business of Moses' life is not superficial or self-serving. This isn't small talk to make sure Zipporah, Gershom, and Eliezer are safe being dropped off. This isn't curiosity of what juicy tidbits of news he could bring home to Midian. This is Jethro's real life interest in God and genuine concern for what day-to-day life is like for his son-in-law.

The next day, Jethro positions himself to observe all that Moses does for a ‘living’.

Jethro asks Moses in v.14: "What is this thing you are doing? Why do you sit alone as judge -- from morning until night?"

Moses responds: "The people come to inquire to me of God. I teach them..."

Then, Jethro doesn't condemn; he's just concerned. (v.18) "You will certainly wear out yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy and you can't do it alone."

What a sweet and intuitive man! The Hebrew for the term ‘wear out’ is nabel. Other translations of this same word mean to ‘fade away’ and ‘wither.’

While it was true that Moses had walked through fire early on in leadership, and also true that God had molded this man well, he was still a man. Jethro saw very quickly that Moses would soon wither unless he learned a life lesson.

Delegate! Jethro said. Release control! Trust the men and women God has given you!

Exhale. There is hope for you, dear control-monger.

Delegation and trust are disciplines that take faith. Jethro knew this, which is why he said, "I will give you some advice and God be with you." Jethro knew Moses couldn't let go unless God so directed him.

Why? Why is it hard for a leader to let go? Is it possible that the very same qualities that comprise a strong leader are also the same qualities keeping that leader from releasing control?

- Entrepreneurial in spirit. They love to start things and watch them fly.

They sweat and toil and daydream and lose sleep simply for the cause of watching a vision come to life.

- Detail oriented. Strong leaders genuinely care about the small things. To them, each brick that comprises the structure of their vision counts. How many of us are willing to slap some bricks together before sundown just so we can have a place to lay our head? Not the detail-oriented leader. The detail-oriented leader starts by lining up the bricks in the order they should be laid--the best bricks facing front. Maybe taking a step back every few bricks to examine the color-gradient. Most of the time, like Moses, they lay the bricks themselves for fear others will find the details petty, or because they have a hard time communicating why the details are so vital to their vision.

- Leaders are often people-pleasers and have a heart a compassion on everyone they meet. Quickly, calendars fill up with lunches and coffees and counseling appointments because everyone they meet is hurting in one way or another. Their compassionate heart doesn’t want to leave anyone behind, they want to help everyone they meet and before they know it, they are pouring themselves out like Paul’s drink offering in 2 Timothy, but failing to refuel themselves...Eventually, they grow weary, and time once spent before God for personal care has been given away to others so that no one is left behind.

This is important: What Moses was doing was GOOD. Exodus 18.16 says he was teaching them the statutes of God and His laws.

But good intentions and important missions don’t give us permission to do it all.

Delegate! Jethro was saying.

Or you will fade and wither and be good to no one.

What areas in your life do you feel weary? When do you have a hard time giving up control?

Are any of these areas the same? Is there anyone in your life who can help relieve some of the burden?

Jethro gave specific criteria to Moses to help him locate men for the job. Able men. God-fearing. Trustworthy. Hating bribes.

And then Jethro even gave a specific hierarchy for the courts. A pyramid of accountability. A foundation for load-bearing.

And isn't that what it is all about...trusting those around you to share the load you bear? Because, really, when you get down to it, didn't God design those around you with purpose and gifting and ability? Aren't you stifling the creativity of God when you don't delegate?

We should ask God where we grip tight to life with an iron fist. Why?

As we wear ourselves out, our hunger for God increases but we are too exhausted to seek Him. Trying to do it all alone expends our energies quicker than we can humanly replace them, and we begin to starve the soul.

Listen to what Joel says in 1.12. The people of Judah were facing an imminent starvation after swarms of locusts ate the crops that were meant to sustain both man and animal.

“The grapevine is dried up, and the fig tree is withered; the pomegranate, the date palm, and the apple—all the trees of the orchard—have withered. Indeed, human joy has dried up.”

As we wither our joy fades.

Let that sink in.

Listen as Peter quotes the prophet Isaiah in 1 Peter 1.23-25:

...since you have been born again-not of perishable seed but of imperishable-through the living and enduring word of God.

For

All flesh is like grass,
and all its glory like a flower of the grass.
The grass withers, and the flower falls,

but the word of the Lord endures forever...

What sort of seed have we been born of again?

Where did that seed come from?

Exodus 18.24 says that “Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said.” Moses became a higher judge, only hearing the most complex of cases while other godly men judged the people at all times...Jethro left and journeyed back to his own land.

And Moses' work load was decreased, allowing him time to enjoy the personal, tangible blessings of God in his life -- his wife and sons.

This was the beginning of the era of the Judges in the life of Israel. We will start here next week, in the book of Judges as we encounter a woman who mystifies me with her strength, her ability to rally the people, and teach the dependability of God to a nation who wavered...Israel's female judge: Deborah.

Day 24 - Better Together

2011-03-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

Exodus 4.27

Such a sweet thing in the reunion of brothers. Imagine the older brother Aaron (Ex 7.7), standing at the mountain of God, the same place where Moses had encountered God in the burning bush and the very place where God had promised they would arrive with the Israelites after the confrontation with Pharaoh. Here is a brother, scanning the horizon, searching the wilderness for the first glimpse of Moses. They were new partners in ministry. A new sort of brotherhood that bonded them together with the Lord.

And when they arrived in Egypt, they assembled all the elders of the Israelites and Aaron spoke while Moses performed the signs.

Exodus 4.28-31

Moses told Aaron everything the Lord had sent him to say, and about all the signs He had commanded him [to do].Then Moses and Aaron went and assembled all the elders of the Israelites. Aaron repeated everything the Lord had said to Moses and performed the signs before the people.

The people believed, and when they heard that the Lord had paid attention to them and that He had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped.

Remember Moses' fear in 4.1? The elders heard out Moses and Aaron and believed.

But the story isn’t over is it. Moses is about to take a ride on the roller-coaster of unpopularity. After Moses and Aaron confront Pharaoh for the first time, life became desolate and barren of hope for the Israelites. Their work load was intensified. Pharaoh stopped supplying the straw for the brick and the Israelites work load was increased.

Exodus 5.6-9

That day Pharaoh commanded the overseers of the people as well as their foremen: "Don't continue to supply the people with straw for making bricks, as before. They must go and gather straw for themselves.But require the same quota of bricks from them as they were making before; do not reduce it. For they are slackers-that is why they are crying out, 'Let us go and sacrifice to our God.'

Impose heavier work on the men. Then they will be occupied with it and not pay attention to deceptive words."

And the Israeli foremen were furious under the increased oppression.

I love what the Israelite foremen say to Moses in v.21:

“May the Lord take note of you and judge because you have made us reek in front of Pharaoh and his officials—putting a sword in their hand to kill us!”

Oh, if only they knew that Moses had already disqualified himself before he ever arrived in Egypt. Truly, they were speaking the words of Moses’ own feelings of inadequacies. I would have loved to have seen Moses’ posture while the foremen were speaking to him. Did his shoulders slump or was he able to hold his head high? Did he stare at the floor, wishing he could sink through it and into a grave?

In 5.22 Moses went back to the Lord and asked, “Lord, why have You caused trouble for this people? And why did You ever send me?”

And why did You ever send me?

I’m still young in the ministry. We’ve been serving in churches for seven years as husband and wife but my husband has been in local church ministry for fifteen. The number of times one or the other of us has asked God, “Why did you ever send us here?” have been too many to count.

We constantly battle the feeling of letting people around us down. Just recently, I spoke with a youth we once had in our student ministry and this young adult wrote to me via email, “I have lost faith in the messenger.”

Oh, Lord. Why did you ever send us? We disappoint people all around and feel so beaten down that you have to scrape us from the floor with a spatula.

When people leave the church, I hear my husband ask, “Why did you ever send me?”

Once, as a very new lead pastor’s wife, I was confronted by the prior senior pastor’s wife. She and her husband were retiring and I think that it was too much of ‘not enough.’ But instead of us connecting in a mentor-style relationship, I walked into a public denouncement of my obvious short-comings. What was said that evening wasn’t beautiful and I left the women’s meeting battered, tattered, and wishing someone would dig me a hole so I could step right in and never emerge. She gave voice to all my deepest fears and inadequacies. Never have I felt more alone.

All I could think was, “Why did you even send us?” Don't we all wonder if we are failing people by the masses and that if left to our own devices, the church will be closing its doors within the year?

Ouch. I hurt so deeply.

God basically told me to suck it up and stop licking my wounds and focus my energies on ‘hope’ because He was at work here.

God says to Moses: “Now you are going to see what I will do…”

Oh, friends, the beautiful examples of Moses’ learning curve over the plagues are too much to tell here, so I will highlight the growth of his faith in God’s work.

Exodus 6.30. The journey couldn’t begin without one more protest from Moses—do you see why I love this man so much? He just never stops being completely honest about who he was during the early stage of his ministry. Love the rawness.

v.30, “But Moses replied in the Lord’s presence, “Since I am such a poor speaker, how will Pharoah listen to me?”

The good news is that Moses is learning -- the literal translation here is: “Since I am uncircumcised of lips…”

The gruesome evening in the wilderness with Zipporah paid off. Moses is thinking in terms of covenant!

God is pleased with his student and continues to tell Moses what the script for the evening looks like. There are specific parts for Moses, Aaron, and Pharaoh to play in order for it to play out according to God’s will.

Watch the growth of Moses into a leader...It looks like this:

(Exodus 7-12)

- Moses and Aaron enter, Moses tells Aaron what to do with the staff and Aaron does it. Pharaoh says no.

- God told Moses to tell Aaron to stretch the staff out over the waters of Egypt and the waters were turned to blood.

- God told Moses to tell Aaron to stretch the staff out over the rivers, canals, and ponds and cause frogs to come into the land.

- God told Moses to tell Aaron to stretch the staff out over the dust of the earth and it became gnats throughout the land.

- God brought swarms of flies throughout Egypt.

- God brought about the plague that killed the livestock of the Egyptians while none of the Israelite’s livestock were harmed.

- Moses and Aaron took handfuls of furnace soot threw it toward heaven in the sight of Pharaoh, bringing festering boils on man and beast.

- Moses stretched out his staff toward heaven and the Lord sent thunder and hail and lightening.

- Moses stretched out his staff over the land of Egypt and the Lord sent an east wind that brought in locusts.

- Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven and there was a thick darkness for three days.

- Moses summoned all the leaders of Israel and told them to mark their doors with the Passover animal.

Do you see the transition of leadership here? Plagues 1-3 God communicated to Moses and Moses to Aaron. Plague 4 & 5 God brought himself. Plague 6 Moses and Aaron executed together. Plague 7-9 Moses found the confidence needed to raise the staff alone.

Beautiful isn’t it?

Whose your Aaron? Whose Aaron are you? Who is toiling alongside you? Who is encouraging you? Who is lifting the staff for you and speaking your heart to those around you because your Aaron believes in you?

It’s a gorgeous example of the body of Christ.

Exodus 17.9-12

Moses said to Joshua, "Select some men for us and go fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the hilltop with God's staff in my hand."

Joshua did as Moses had told him, and fought against Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill.While Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, but whenever he put his hand down, Amalek prevailed. When Moses' hands grew heavy, they took a stone and put [it] under him, and he sat down on it. Then Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other so that his hands remained steady until the sun went down.

Why did God send us? You and I...why are we here? We are here to support one another in our pursuit of Him. Tangible or intangible, when we tire of holding our hands high toward the heavens, we are able to ease the burden through the power of Jesus. Through face-to-face ministry. Through prayer. Through tangible needs met. Through sweet words of encouragement. Through service. Through coffee. Through sitting silently with one another. Through email. Through phone calls. Through love.

Are we willing? Can we be an Aaron to one another? Can we offer support--albeit human support is sometimes less than perfect--but are we willing?

An Email: "Short Sighted Love - Pray for Japan"

2011-03-16T04:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, injustice, and famine when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid He might ask me the same question. -- Unknown

If I am moved but choose not to respond, won’t I soon harden, unable to respond? -- Ann Voskamp

I awoke this morning to God's email. How often do we wish He communicated just like that? Like you, I have prayed over the images of Japan, watched in horror as one man tried to explain today's tragedy, "It's Hiroshima again--for me, it's Hiroshima again."

The images are horrific -- a hell on earth for those suffering. I have poured over organizations to give to and walked away with my change still jingling in my pocket because I can't find one I can trust.

That's not good enough. I have to trust enough to give.

There are two that I feel confident recommending:

1) Samaritan's Purse http://www.samaritanspurse.org/

2) JEMA http://www.jema.org/joomla15/

How can I give until it hurts? Perhaps you are like me: Your checkbook has had that little dash before the numbers every once in a while. Your car needs some TLC, an article in the paper says property taxes are going up, and you aren't quite smiling while you fill your gas tank.

Perhaps you are like me: Eating Mac & Cheese with a side of applesauce for dinner and wishing it was a little more gourmet.

Perhaps, like me, you've realized: Peanut butter doesn't kill and when eaten with jelly has the phenomenal power to take you back to childhood. Free time travel.

You've had enough of continuous consumption and you hunger, desire, crave to live further than yourself. This is the call, fellow sojourners. The point in this life of ours: We get to pattern our lives after Jesus through obedient sacrificing for others.

I have some gift cards here I've been saving for a new computer. But aren't I typing? Isn't my voice projecting in black and white just fine? Would I really stand in front of that child and say: I'm so sorry. I've been saving these for something new so that I can write and tell people about God.

When given the chance...I'd rather show Jesus. Again, we live in a latitude and longitude of immense pocket change.

Here's my email sermon from God, written by the hands of sweet friends to my husband and I:

-----

"My heart aches for the people of Japan. The devastation from the earthquake, tsunami and now threat of radiation is difficult to imagine. I have been praying, as I’m sure you have, that God would show his mercy and allow the impending nuclear disaster to be averted. Please, Father, have mercy on Japan.

Last night, as I was praying with my wife, I realized that my burden for Japan was not great enough. Even though I have been frequently checking news sources and praying as updates come in, even if I could fly to Japan and help with the search and rescue teams or provide enough money for shelter and food, it would not be enough...

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? (Mark 8:36).

I should be concerned when my love for others is short sighted. What is my best-case scenario for people, to be healthy and happy like the elite of Hollywood, to have a stable government and good income? Even if I could solve the problems of poverty, hunger, and water would that be enough? If a chemist found the cure for cancer and AIDS would that be sufficient?

...My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:27,28

Wikipedia.org states that “Christianity is a minority religion in Japan, with less than 1% and possibly less than one-half of one percent of the Japanese population claiming Christian belief or affiliation”. Does this break my heart as much as the earthquake or tsunami? Do I stay up late at night worrying about it? Do I check whatever sources I can find to see how things are going?..."

-----

Thanks for reading segments of what stirred me to action early this morning.

I pray that God moves you to give until it makes you uncomfortable. There is freedom in this. There is Jesus in this. And more than anything, the love of Jesus -- the healing touch of Jesus -- immediately preceded the words of Good News taught by Jesus.

School: Impromptu Art and Scientific Pain

2011-03-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

We were studying the Roman baths and homes. The wealthy often commissioned mosaics to be part of construction. It's not often art makes itself immediately obvious to me...but I just so happened to remember I had these extra pieces of tissue cut up.

Cheap, fun, and the kids liked to snort and watch the tissue fly.

We've been using "Science for Every Kid: Chemistry" this year and I can't say enough about the experiments. Aside from having to steal a balloon from church, I almost always have the supplies on hand.

Plus, who wouldn't want to watch the kids try and try and try to prove their hypothesis right: "Mom, of COURSE the balloon will blow up enough to fill the bottle."

Love it.

Tell me that hypothesis again, dude.

Day 23 - Pure Grace, Sweet Holiness

2011-03-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

“The growth of grace is like the polishing of metals. There is first an opaque surface; by and by you see a spark darting out, then a strong light; till at length it sends back a perfect image of the sun that shines upon it.” -Edward Payson (1783-1827)

“The grace of the spirit comes only from heaven, and lights up the whole bodily presence. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon

“Neither the writer nor the reader of these words is qualified to appreciate the holiness of God. Quite literally a new channel must be cut through the desert of our minds to allow the sweet waters of truth that will heal our great sickness to flow in. We cannot grasp the true meaning of the divine holiness by thinking of someone or something very pure and then raising the concept to the highest degree we are capable of." - A.W. Tozer The Knowledge of the Holy

Holiness is perfection so sweet, it pours from its own supply of grace to fill the flaws in the rest of us.

We are in Exodus 4.18-31 today. Please read ahead and get a grasp on the text, noting anything that stands out to you.

It wasn’t until after Moses received Jethro's permission to return to Egypt that God even bothered to tell Moses that all the men who wanted Moses killed are now dead.

Small detail. "Oh, and by the way, the price on your head is removed."

It does illuminate Moses’ degree of personal yielding he has in the Lord--his willingness to go without knowing whether or not he was going to be alive once it was all over. But he hadn't given all of himself...

Right after the Lord told Moses that all Egyptians who wanted him dead were dead, the Lord tried to take Moses out himself! What?

Exodus 4.24: On the overnight trip at a campsite, the Lord sought to put him [Moses] to death.

Makes you wonder, why bother will all the hullabaloo of a burning bush and staff-snakes, and insta-leprosy? If you wanted to kill him, Lord, why not just take him out during his tirade of self-loathing?

Moses' wife, Zipporah, 'took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin and threw it at Moses' feet.'

Their son was no longer a baby, and while the text doesn't name which son, we do know that God places high emphasis on the first born. By this point in Moses' life in Midian, Gershon was probably not a baby. The imagery of the foreskin falling at Moses’ feet is a bit much for me.

v. 26 says: And He left Moses alone. A foreskin for a life. Gross.

“You are a bridegroom of the blood to me!” Zipporah exclaimed.

My study notes give a great deal of insight into what is going on in this scene. Moses' heart and attitude was not correctly postured before the Lord. Sure, his feet were walking through sand in the right direction, but God can see more than the footprints in the sand--he can see the smudges and it’s one of great importance before Moses can move on into Egypt.

When God introduced himself to Moses he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham…”

It was with Abraham that the covenant was made concerning the Promise Land and it was with Abraham that the command of circumcision on the eighth day of life was given as a visual sign of a blood covenant between God and His people. The fact that Moses’ son was not yet circumcised indicates that he was still not fully identifying himself with God’s chosen people. In Egypt, it was customary for circumcision to be held off until the right of passage into manhood at the age of fourteen. My notes say that Moses’ failure to behave as a member of the covenant community was a serious offense in the eyes of the Lord.

Hard Stop: His failure to behave as a member of the covenant community was a serious offense to the Lord. Think of how many times we fail to behave this way ourselves. Think of the unlimited opportunities presented to love each other well and then consider how many of those opportunities we turn down because our calendar is too full or our energies are depleted.

This scene is going even deeper. God is saying: You are a part of my covenant community and you will live up to those covenant standards. I am a Holy God, a Perfect God, and I have the right to demand this of you--my people.

That's a hard bit of truth, isn't it?

Let's keep going toward the redemption of this humanity of ours:

Still, the Lord chose Moses knowing this detail about his life. Which should empower us to trust that God doesn’t wait to call us to a purpose until we have our life in complete order. No, because just as He is holy, He is equally gracious and calls us in our imperfection. He can mold along the way.

And even if it involves the removal of 'flesh'...it’s God...and if there’s anyone who I trust while seeking to put me to death, it would be Him!

Day 22 - Save Our Breath

2011-03-11T05:22:00.000-08:00

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. - David Barry

An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition.

Moses' proposition: "I am not the man you think I am."

God's proposition: "Yes. You are."

It's hardly discounting Moses or his faith if we run through the arguments he made before the Lord against his own calling. After all, Moses authored them and God placed them in scripture. Besides, don't we all struggle with our own inadequacies?

We’ve already covered the first one, but let’s put it here anyway just to have them all in one place. Remember we are in Exodus.

Exodus 3.11-12

Argument 1:

Moses asked God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should be the Israelites out of Egypt?”

God answered, “I will certainly be with you, and this will be the sign to you that I have sent you: when you bring the people out of Egypt, you will all worship God at this mountain (Mt. Sinai)."

My notes say that God is using a word play here as a way to bring finality to the argument Moses started. Essentially, God is saying: The one who promises to be with you is the one who sends you.

Maybe, for most of us, that response would round our mouths into a humble, "Oh." But not Moses. Moses has a few concerns about the future and questions his role in it.

Funny. It seems the 40 years of preparation has really tamed the wild fire that once burned inside.

Argument 2:

Moses asks (v13) If I go to the Israelites and say to them: The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they ask: 'What is His name?' what should I tell them?"

God replied (v14): "I AM WHO I AM. That is what you are to say to the Israelites..."

Again. Isn't this name even sweeter when seen in context with His response to the first argument above?

The one who promises to be with you is the one who sends you...

I am who I am...

God is shutting down Moses' attempts to say 'no' to His calling with yet another word/verb play. This is new light for me on this name of God we've heard since childhood--the name God said is His name forever (v.15). I have to say I love this new layer of understanding.

After gifting Moses with His name, God launches into clear instructions on how the exodus of Israel is to be initiated revealing insight all the way through the release of the Hebrew people.

But Moses isn't finished doubting.

Argument 3

Exodus 4.1

Then Moses answered, "What if they won't believe me and will not obey me but say, "The Lord did not appear to you?"

The Lord asked Him, what is that in your hand?

Like God couldn't see it. He cracks me up.

"A staff," Moses replied.

"Throw it on the ground..."

Was God emphasizing His intent to use the gifts and talents familiar to Moses? If only Moses would hush and be willing to trust God to the point of obedience?

“Stretch out your hand and pick the snake up by the tail."

Argument 4

Exodus 4.10-11

Moses: "Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent--either in the past or recently or since you have been speaking to [me] your servant--because I am slow and hesitant in speech."

Moses wants to know if God has ears to hear.

God wants to know if Moses has a mind to recognize...

Yahweh said to him, "Who made the human mouth? Who makes him mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, Yahweh? Now go! I will help you speak and I will teach you what to say."

Literally: And I will be with your mouth.

Argument 5

Exodus 4.13-14

"Please, Lord, send someone else."

Then the Lord's anger burned against Moses...

Isn't Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, he is on his way now to meet you. He will rejoice when he sees you.

Rhetorical question: Isn’t Aaron the Levite your brother?

I love how God (1) doesn't try to console Moses and give him false encouragement by saying: It's alright, Mo, I think you can speak perfectly. I never even notice that you stammer to find the right words, and (2) adds a little God-given exasperation when he says, "Aaron will rejoice when he sees you."

Can we translate: You've worn me out and I'm just glad that someone is going to be smiling when he arrives?

And that’s the end. Moses finally complies and heads home to talk with Jethro.

But we aren't finished seeing something profound...

God said: Aaron the Levite--your brother. Which means that Moses is a Levite.

I couldn't get this out of my head. God was reminding Moses of his position by birth into the tribe of Levi—a tribe whom God intended to take as His own in exchange for Israel’s firstborn. (Numbers 8.18) God knew the Passover would pass over Israel's firstborn in Egypt and in return for that mercy, He would claim the tribe of Levi for His holy service.

Watch this. This floors me.

The Israelites head into the desert for 40 years. My mind dances ahead to the New Testament to see Jesus wandering the wilderness for 40 days.

I just heard God lay out a depth of His plan before Moses-- a plan Moses would not understand until it had come to pass. We are so fortunate we can flip the pages and see ahead.

Now this astounds me.

Mose and Aaron go to Egypt. Pharaoh is stubborn. The plagues happen. Pharaoh is stubborn still. The firstborn die. The Israelites are released and THEN --

If we look into the wilderness at the arrangement of the tribes during those 40 years of wandering, the tribes were ordered by God to camp in such a way that, when looked at from the east, the military formations comprised a cross. I wish you could see this diagram that I have in my study bible because I think it would be incredibly and beautifully shocking.

I’ll try to show you so that my point will be clear (the repeat of names = # in population):

(WEST)

Tribe of Benjamin

Tribe of Manasseh

Tribe of Ephraim

Tribe of Gad/Tribe of Simeon/Tribe of Reuben Tribe of Dan/Tribe of Asher/ Tribe of Nephtali

Tribe of Gad/Tribe of Simeon/Tribe of Reuben Tribe of Dan/Tribe of Asher/Tribe of Nephtali

Tribe of Judah

Tribe of Isaachar

Tribe of Issachar

Tribe of Zebulon

(EAST)

In the center was a defined perimeter around the tabernacle and the pillar of cloud and fire where God manifested His glory during this time in Israel’s history.

Also in the center was the tribe of Levi. Isn’t Aaron the Levite your brother? Aren’t you a Levite as well? Do you trust and believe enough to obey?

How many times have you heard someone say, “I just want to live in the center of God’s will."

In all of Moses' objections, in all his arguing and questioning God, God was just waiting. He had already prepared a place smack-dab in the middle of that tribal formation.

By Moses stepping out from under his own insecurities, he was stepping into God's plan. Only with God could fears melt, insecurities scatter, and objections be swallowed.

And all that remained would be a man and His creator.

When the journey was over, as you can see in the diagram above, Moses was truly and honestly in the center God's encampment.

No mystery to God's will. No secret formula. It's just a matter of saying 'yes'.

2 Corinthians 12.9 “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected by weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.”

Day 21 - I Find Myself Wanting

2011-03-09T04:22:00.000-08:00

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, you have been found wanting." - A Knight's Tale (And Daniel 5.27! Thanks, Cheri!)

"He has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace." Paul to Timothy in the 2nd letter, 1.9

Continued from Day 20:

So I ask, had the Israelites stopped looking for a way out of slavery? No, God says His people were still praying. But what exactly did they have in mind? Surely they weren’t looking for a man like Moses, who had been raised on the ‘inside’, whose sins were known, and whose head had a bounty on it. He was a shepherd -- far cry from a hero.

Isn’t this theme found in another story? Jesus was hardly what the Jews were looking for in a Messiah. They were looking for a political hero that would release them from the oppression of Rome and rule over Israel as king. A carpenter’s son from Nazareth hardly fit the bill. He worked on the Sabbath, spoke out against their hypocrisy, and refused to step into the political arena. Remember the triumphal entry? A vain effort to push him toward coronation!

So I ask myself when I am waiting for God to move: am I only looking for Him to move in the direction I expect? Am I looking to the East while God is coming in from the West? If a stammering Egyptian or a plain-looking carpenter shows up to lend a hand, will I recognize the hand was sent by God?

Exodus 3.10-11:

I love this next part of God’s speech to Moses. He has already introduced himself and laid out the reason for his coming down from the heavens (v8) and now he is about to commission Moses in (v10).

“Therefore, go.”

But Moses asked God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

I love this man.

Augustine writes in the opening of Confessions, “We are but a particle of God’s creation…”

“Who am I?” I, the particle of dust that inflicts His eye with pain. I, the splinter of wood that throbs in the palm of God. I, the barb of a cactus embedded in the sole of Him.

Moses might have been thinking something like this: “Excuse me, have you forgotten that there was a price put on my head after I murdered that Egyptian.”

“Who am I?” echoes the sentiments of the two fighting Hebrews he tried to break apart before he fled Egypt to Midian. “Who are you?” They asked, “Who made you a leader?” (Exodus 2.14)

“Who am I?” Had Moses carried this question with him for forty years? Was this the sound that echoed to him across the land as he cared for his flock?

And we think that these words of Moses’ are the ultimate humility articulated—right here before our eyes. But isn’t there a shred of pride in the same breath? Who do we think we are -- telling God he’s made the wrong hiring choice?

Moses was tempted to believe what man saw in him rather that believing who God declared Him to be.

Who do we think we are believing the tongue of man over the call of God?

Who am I?

God answered Him, but Moses had a difficult time finding ears to hear.

God answers, “I will be with you.” (Exodus 3.12)

Can you see what this is? This is the Isaiah prophecy and the Matthew birth story right here given a prelude in Exodus! “Immanuel! God with us!” (Isaiah 7.14, Mt 1.23)

The Hebrew for “I will be with you” includes the word hayah, which means to exist or become, to become accomplished, a beacon of light.

If the Lord is our beacon, what else do we need for the task ahead?

Isaiah 30.18-21 (segmented)

“Therefore the Lord is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the Lord is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy…He will show favor to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears, He will answer you…and whenever you walk to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: “This is the Way. Walk in it.”

My goodness, there is freedom in His promise.

Two things to ponder in my today:

1. Am I looking to the East when God is moving in the West? To fix this, should I spend more time on my knees—forehead to the floor—so I might better see the face of God?

2. When God declares me—you—us, to be called to a task that seems impossible and even a mite intimidating, do I trust Him to be with me? No Sunday School answers please. Do I really trust Him, or does my mouth give him false praise while my heart armors itself in doubt?

Wherever you walk…to the right of to the left…your ears will hear this command behind you: This is the way. Walk in it.

Day 20 - Distance Running

2011-03-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

"I was angry because I had no shoes; then I met a man who had no feet." - Author Unknown.

"I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith." - Paul, 2 Timothy 4.7

Today’s excerpt from Exodus is 3.7-8

Then the Lord said, “I have observed the misery of My people in Egypt, and have heard them crying out because of their oppressors, and I know about their sufferings. I have come down to rescue them ...and to bring them from that land to a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—

Forty years had passed since Moses had left Egypt (Acts 7.30) and God was just now coming to Moses and saying He has heard the cries of His people in Egypt?

That’s a lot of prayers and crying out to God. I wonder how many people had given up decades ago?

And yet, how many still prayed as if it were the first time they were asking God to move on their behalf?

2 Thessalonians 1.3-5 (NLT) "...we can't help but thank God for you as your faith is flourishing and your love for one another is growing...We proudly tell God's other churches about your endurance and faithfulness is all persecutions and hardships you are facing..."

Romans 5.3-5 "We rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know they help us develop endurance, and endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope in salvation..."

Hebrews 10.36 "Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all He has promised."

James 1.3-4 "For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, so let it grow. For when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

Faith.

Patience.

Trials.

Endurance.

What’s the hardest part of that four-fold equation for you? The faith, patience, trials, or endurance?

For when our endurance is perfectly developed...we will be perfect and complete lacking nothing. Am I the only one who feels like what James is promising is only possible upon death?

Isn't this the verse that's proceeded with the challenge to view hardship as an opportunity for great joy?

Dearest James. You overestimate my running shoes in this race of faith and failed to take into consideration the searing pain in my shins.

Or did he?

Endurance, when coupled with faith, brings promise. Promise. Inheritance. The realization of God's spoken word. But just how long must our endurance last? How many prayers must we pray before it's enough to receive the promise? How many tears must be shed until the sorrow has manifested pure joy? How many insecurities must be named before the veil is lifted so we might behold the fullness of our reflection in Christ?

Doesn't God know we are human? His silence gives way to sin's doubt. Speak, Lord, your servant is listening!

Amos 8.11 speaks of the coming famine in the land "not being a famine of bread or a thirst for water; but of hearing the words of the Lord."

A famine of hearing the words of the Lord.

Is this how the Israelites felt during those 400+ years of slavery to Egypt and no coming God to save them?
They heard nothing different. They saw nothing different. Their circumstances stayed just the same - enslaved to a pagan nation who allowed nothing of their worship of Yahweh. How many still cried out and how many sealed their lips, never to ask God for help again?

How many died in slavery during that last lap of the race? How many gave up hope just as that bush started to burn, just as the curiosity of Moses was peaked?

We can't give up. We must clutch tight to our faith in the midst of back-breaking circumstances because our Salvation is full and hope is ours. Whether it is forty days or forty years, our promise is coming because our Hope is here.

This is not the inter-testament period Amos spoke of, we don't have to "stagger from sea to sea and roam from north to east, seeking the Word of the Lord but not finding it."

The writing on the wall says: Jesus is here.

We can stop staggering beneath the weight of our burden and sit -- in the presence of God and eat of His word until our soul has expanded once again and the appetite has triggered the desire for more. Eat. Endure. Persevere.

Don't give up. And give ourselves freedom to ask:

Why does it delay? Why -- in the deepest of our agony -- do we listen for God but not hear, look for Him but not see?

While we can't see Him working, He's always there. And I like to think that just when my prayers are trailing...just when my voicing is cracking...God has started a fire in someone's heart to catch their attention. Always burning a bush to instigate curiosity so He might say, "Go. I am sending you to [Marian] so that you may lead her out of slavery." (taken from Exodus 3.10)

The question I must ask is: Am I Moses at the bush or the Israelites on my knees? Is my heart on fire to go, or are my eyes burning to see hope on the horizon?

Day 19 - Road Kings and Royalty

2011-03-04T04:59:00.000-08:00

When God lit a holy fire in that bush, He was tapping into the essence of Moses' personality -- insatiable curiosity. By nature, Moses was a man who meddled in places most people watched from a distance.

I have a man like that—my husband. He’s both curious and a little nosy. He’s antsy for action and compassionate enough to help. He’s a Canadian knight in shining armor that gallops in the direction of ambulance sirens and fire trucks. And I love that about him.

For five years we lived in a parsonage positioned half-way up a large hill—it also happened to be a main thoroughfare. I think all the action happened on our sweet, parsonage road. During Sturgis' Rally Week, all the coolest Harley’s rumbled down our road, headed for the Black Hills. The most popular hour to take thunder to the hills was between 2 & 4 in the morning --and, of course, since we lived on the side of the road going uphill, those Harley's needed a little extra throttle to show off their mighty motors and rattle my windows. Fond memories right there.

But the real fun came in the winter. Our parsonage had a big bay window and no cable television. So when we heard there was a snowstorm coming, we put the kids to bed early and opened the curtains to our bay window. I made a pot of coffee while Pastor put his boots by the door. He'd stare out the front window and sip his coffee in his snow bibs.

We would sit and wait, placing bets on which cars were going to get stuck.

“There’s no way. She didn’t gas it enough. Oh! Oh, look she’s spinning sideways!” I turned to see if he agreed, but both his feet slid in his boots like butter on hot toast and he was long gone. Our poor winter drivers hadn't time enough to know they were stuck before my husband was knocking on their window in his shiny-armored-snow-bibs offering to give them a push. One mom let him drive her minivan clear to the top of the hill.

How he loved those snowy nights.

It was a combination of compassion and curiosity that drove him outside. It energized him, being out there pushing cars out of harm's way. He’d come inside flush with excitement, and tell me all about his new acquaintances.

Men of action. Men of curiosity.

God knows how to tap into their attention.

Exodus 3.3-4
So Moses thought: I must go over and look at this remarkable sight. Why isn't the bush burning up?

“When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called out to him from the bush, Moses, Moses!”

“Here I am,” he answered.

“Do not come any closer,” He said. “Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Then He continued, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Moses hid his face because he was afraid to look at God.

There are two things I want to point out here. No, three. (I just stole that from Solomon in Ecclesiastes…fun!)

First, the intimacy of God’s calling is emphasized by the use of Moses’ name. Names are of high value in the commodities of God. God himself allows us to know Him by over 100 names in scripture. We can go back to Genesis 2.19 and watch the Lord bring every wild animal and every bird in the sky to Adam just to see what he would call it. And whatever Adam called it, that was its name. God took immense delight in listening to these new names roll off Adam's tongue. God finds joy in calling us by name and even more joy when we respond.

But I want to look at something cool right here:

Exodus 3.4

“Moses, Moses!” “Here I am,” Moses answered.

1 Samuel 3.10

The Lord came, stood there, and called out as before, “Samuel, Samuel!”

Samuel responded, “Speak, Lord, for your servant in listening.”

Acts 9.3-4

As he was nearing Damascus on this mission, a brilliant light from heaven suddenly beamed down upon him! He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me?”

“Who are you sir?” Saul asked.

And the voice replied, “I am Jesus…Now get up…”...then Saul got up.

The sound of our name pleases God on High. And to know Him by name pleases Him even more.

Second, God calls Moses and then immediately requests his obedience.

"Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals for you are on holy ground."

Yes, this is a sign of respect, but it also sets the bar for what kind of leader Moses will be. Will he obey God in even the smallest of requests? Can he be trusted with the small orders before God dishes out the big ones?

Sometimes, isn't it easier to obey God with the big things, such as moving to a new place or selling all our belongings so we won't be bogged down? Often the hardest forms of obedience are small enough to fit in our palms, fingers clutched as we struggle to let go.

We've found in the scriptures where love purified gives way to obedience, but those small things try their best to trip us up.

Third, after God spoke Moses' name (anyone else still in shock that Moses got to hear God's voice as it spoke his name?), He introduced himself.

This was not a: "Hi, Moses, I'm God. Nice to meet you." No, God introduced himself in the manner of royalty.

"I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob..."

This is a phrase that is used over and over again by God throughout Genesis and Exodus, but also again in Chronicles and Isaiah and Thessalonians. It is voiced by Jacob the patriarch, David the king, Isaiah the prophet, and Paul the missionary:

The introduction of a king to a man who had struggled with his very own identity.

"I am the God of your father..."

Oh, Sweet Jesus. I just love when God gets personal. Right here, knowing what we know about Moses’ struggle for identity among family, God brought Moses into the folds of the royal blanket. Surely this pierced the heart of Moses.

“Identify yourself with me,” God was saying. “You are my man, let me be your God.”

He calls us by name. He asks for obedience in the small things. And He considers us royalty in the purist kingdom of all -- eternity.

I'll identify myself with that. I'll run toward that burning bush.

Urgent Need for Family

2011-03-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

Taken From Holt's Blog:

Caretakers dote on Qiong, and teachers enjoy her helpful and charming attitude. Qiong has a roof over her head and a bed to sleep in a night.

...Today, at 13 years old, Qiong prays for a family too. After all these years, she still carries so much hope with her. “It doesn’t matter if I have brothers or sisters,” she says. “A family to love me will be very nice.” A few moments later Qiong clarifies her statement slightly: “It would be nice to have a big brother and a father who will protect me.”

On September 30th, Qiong turns 14 and loses her international adoption eligibility. Six months from now, Qiong’s hope of having a family of her own will be lost forever.

“All I want is a family,” Qiong says. “Just a family.”

A 13-year-old girl sits on the steps of her school, waiting for a family……

Share this story on your Facebook page, blogs and other social networking sites. Let’s find Qiong a family…before it’s too late!

For more information on Qiong, contact Erin Mower aterinm@holtinternational.org

Bare Feet for Their Feet - Soles for Jesus

2011-03-03T04:59:00.000-08:00

I'm wiggling my toes to warm up for today's organization that moves me to live outside myself.

Soles for Jesus is a non-profit established by a woman who took a mission trip to Ethiopia and left with a Ethiopia with a profound mission herself: to put shoes on the soles of the children's feet.

Sage is the only one in our family with pretty feet. Pretty but not perfect. Even today our little one from another land bears burns and scars from early years without shoes.

How many others like her? There are more than 100,000 street children in the capital city of Ethiopia alone. 100,000.

When we traveled to Addis, you can't help but be awestruck by the sheer determination required to to travel by foot. Sidewalks are sketchy -- many reduced to piles of rubble and puddles of water during the rainy season. Shoes sold at vendors across the city and countryside are the neon sisters to our fat-strapped-rubber-sandals here in the states. Flimsy. Rocks slide in, heels slide off. Very little protection is offered in a landscape where construction appears never-ending and ever few hundred feet foot traffic is forced to the streets with goats, diesel vans, and zero road rules.

If I learned one thing while in Ethiopia it is this: they take immense joy in seeing their children loved and cared for. Would you consider partnering with Soles for Jesus and organize a shoe drive for the children of Ethiopia?

Go here and watch this video. Then:

1. Say 'yes.' And email Jen at Soles for Jesus. She'll send you some promo materials.

2. Pick a day to have a Barefoot Sunday. We are using it as our kick-off to our month long shoe-raiser.

3. Collect new or gently used shoes size Toddler to 9/adult. Also, collect $1/pair to get them across the Atlantic and into Africa.

4. Send those shoes to Jen at Soles for Jesus in Wisconsin. (She'll tell you all that in her email.)

5. Come back and keep using our latitude and longitude as the hands that dip in the pockets of Jesus -- rattle some change, change a life.

And #6: You could donate to our shoe-raiser. Our seven kids at church have decided to raise 401 pairs of shoes (and the $401 dollars to send them).

In the spirit of all this barefootedness: Toms is having a barefoot day on April 5, called One Day Without Shoes, to raise awareness of what it's like to go without shoes.

Go ahead...throw a pebble, make a ripple. Let us work together to live larger than ourselves.

Day 18 - Sweet Sixteen, or Forty

2011-03-02T04:46:00.000-08:00

Exodus Chapter 3 begins, ‘Meanwhile, Moses was shepherding the flock of his father-in-law, Jethro.’

Meanwhile….

Meanwhile…the king was dying and Moses was shepherding.

Meanwhile…the Hebrews groaned and cried out to God and Moses was shepherding.

Meanwhile…God was listening to the groans of his people.

Meanwhile... God remembered them and the covenant with Abraham (that Israel would be in bondage for 400 years--it was now 465. It was time.)

Meanwhile... God took notice of all two-million Hebrews—knowing them in such a way that he was discerning each voice and face from a staggering crowd of His people...AND

Meanwhile…Moses was shepherding the flock.

If that isn’t God preparing that man, then I don’t know what is.

He had placed Moses in the home of a priest of Midian who most likely trained Moses in the worship of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. But the Jethro the Midianite also allowed his son-in-law some hand's on knowledge on how to lead a flock.

Turn with me to Acts 7.29.

Stephen, an apostle after the resurrection of Jesus, was reminding his listeners that Moses lived in the land of Midian for 40 years after he fled Egypt.

Here's the kicker in all the 'meanwhiles':

At some point -- year 8, year 12, year 22 -- Moses believed he would breath his last while shepherding Jethro's flock. There, out in the fields, with all that time to think, he realized this was the fullness of his life and we have no reason to believe Moses wasn't content with just that.

Recently, I listened to Margaret Feinberg talk about her book, Scouting the Divine, where she followed a shepherdess, a farmer, a bee-keeper, and a vintner.

If you’ve not read it, do. Maybe we’ll be reading it together, as it is next on my list. In her talk, there were two things she said that impacted me more than others:

During her time with the shepherdess in Oregon, they first crested a hillside, speckled with sheep, and while the shepherdess spoke to Margaret, she was whispering. Margaret whispered back, but couldn’t resist asking why it was they whispered. The shepherdess gently raised her voice and called, “Sheep, sheep, sheep.” And like that, the sheep came running.

Among the limitless number of things she learned from the vintner, one was the amount of time it took for them to even yield a harvest.

Year 1: Plant the grape shoot into the ground and prune back with itsy-bitsy pruning shears.

Year 2: Trim the shoot back again with itsy-bitsy pruning shears.

Year 3: Don’t pick the fruit that comes. Let it die back.

Year 4: Harvest the fruit and expect to taste the fruit of that harvest in…

Year 7. Enjoy the fruit of your labor. But don’t expect to turn a profit until…

Year 16.

Let's not underestimate the power preparation has on the sweetness of our fruit. Like Moses, sometimes we don’t realize we're being trained.

Yet here we are, with Moses as a shepherd of sheep in Exodus chapter 3. I want to draw your attention to something here: Exodus Chapter 2 covered everything from Moses’ birth, relinquishment, his eating habits as a baby, the hand-off as a toddler back into Pharaoh’s house, forty years of Moses’ life before he committed murder, his shame of public sin, his fleeing from a death sentence, the ‘first-time-we-met’ story with his wife, the occupation of his father-in-law, his identity crisis, the birth of his son, the death of a king, prayers of a people, and the stirring of a God.

Exodus Chapter 3 is about a burning bush and Moses’ response to God in that bush.

That’s the whole chapter. Why? Because we are in the thick of the plot of Moses’ personal story. Chapter 2 showed us Moses as a man passionate for abolition, confused by his lack of belonging. Exodus 3 will bring back that God-given desire to abolish slavery, but also something much more personal to Moses. A man who never felt like he belonged anywhere was about to become a regular in the presence of God.

That knocks me right over! I love that so much about our God.

So Moses is on the Mountain of God in Exodus 3.1. This is also Mount Sinai, and also known as Desolation. Exodus 3.2-4 reads:

“Then the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire within a bush. As Moses looked, he saw that the bush was on fire but was not consumed. So Moses thought: I must go over and look at this remarkable sight. Why isn’t the bush burning up?”

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called out to him from the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

“Here I am,” he answered.

The NLT reads, “When God saw that he had caught Moses attention…”

Moses was curious and God used that curiosity to bring Moses into His presence.

This morning, we have two things to think about -- two truths to absorb -- or a truth and a question.

1. God is preparing us. Today a flock of sheep on a hillside, a month from today 2.1 million Hebrew slaves just granted freedom to worship their God.

We can be tempted with insignificance, but that's a lie. There is nothing insignificant that comes from the Lord who takes time to plant us, prune us, and harvest us for glory. Hang tight. Be content. But don't be tempted to think this is all there is. The farmer's wife plants a garden of lettuce before she starts the pumpkin patch -- but all the fruit comes from the same soil.

2. And this one leaves me spinning circles beneath the sun: How does God try to catch your attention?

Do you still indulge your curiosity?

Ode to Winter

2011-03-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

One last Turkey Pot Pie...just because I'll miss you so. Alright...make it two.

When I Grow Up...

2011-03-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

What will they be when they grow up?

Where will they stub their toes along the path of life? How far will they travel to find their Jesus?

Of all I thought and dreamed of, very little came to pass. And in this place I find thanks and realize I dreamed too little....

What about you? How is life more than you hoped?

Day 17 - Broken Prayers

2011-02-28T05:28:00.000-08:00

Remember the shift in biblical-cinematography I spoke of on Friday? It's a shift of perspective in the text, going from a microscopic look at Moses to a panorama of events in Egypt.

Remember, until this point, we know the nation of Israel is in bondage, but all of Chapter 2 in Exodus has been dedicated to personal interactions between a person or two or three, with Moses as either an onlooker or participant.

Turn to Exodus 2.23-25 - “After a long time, the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned because of their difficult labor, and they cried out; and their cry for help ascended to God because of the difficult labor. So God heard their groaning, and He remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God saw the Israelites, and He took notice.”

That’s a lot of big picture. Let’s break it down.

1. The king of Egypt died, but Moses doesn't know this yet.

2. The Israelites were groaning because of their hard labor.

3. They cried out and their cry for help made it to the throne of God in heaven.

4. God heard them.

5. God remembered His covenant with Abraham.

6. God saw the Israelites.

7. Finally, God took notice.

This is truly amazing: I hope I can lead you to a place of understanding the richness God shows us in these couple verses of Exodus.

Here we go: The Hebrew word for ‘groaned’ in this passage is the same word used in Ezekiel 30.24.

"But I will break the arms of Pharaoh, and he will groan before [the king of Babylon] as a mortally wounded man."

The people of Israel were crying out as a body with two broken arms. They couldn't hold a sword to defend themselves, they lacked the strength to pull themselves out of slavery, and they certainly couldn't raise their broken arms toward the heavens any longer.

And the result of their groaning in unison? God heard them and recognized they were a broken people.

But what if the Lord stopped there when we cried out to Him-broken, scattered and diced under the burden of life? What if He heard us and that was all?

And how is our prayer life affected if we believe that God only hears, remembers, sees, and takes notice?

Do we REALLY--authentically, with every fiber in our tapestry-torn being--believe that God hears our prayers? Even the silent ones whispered because our breath fails us?

We know how the story of Moses goes: Bushes that burn, sticks that turn to snakes, frogs, blood, locusts, and lambs. And that huge sea that God parted into fortified walls and dry land.

But what about our story? Will God hear our groans and cries? Will he perform miracles for us, or is a single person just too small to gain the attention of a mighty God?

Is all we can hope for what we already have -- or do we dare ask more? He already sent His Son for our sin-infested flesh...if I ask for more, do a reek of ingratitude?

Or am I afraid to ask because the soul and head are engaged in a tug-of-war, knowing I am precious to Him, but fearing He might remain s-i-l-e-n-t? Please, Lord, anything but silent. Silence precedes doubt...

God hears. God remembers. God sees. God takes notice. And if we think for a moment that these verbs indicate a 'distance-approach' to our lives -- that God is standing on the sidelines, watching, observing, and taking notes for the next game -- we fail to recognize Him as our defender, as the One taking the blocks for us.

Watch the beauty of words here:

Heard – In the Hebrew this is ‘shama’ which describes God as being one who listens and hears intently the cries of his people is often followed by His response of mercy. Like He is in a silent darkened room, sitting still until our prayers reach his ears and He is able to absorb each syllable, each change in tone, each crack in our voice as emotion hammers away at our stoic attempt to remain poised. Shama. He Listens.

Remembered – In the Hebrew the word is ‘zakar’ and is the process of remembering with all the senses. When applied to God, His zakar is implies that he has impending intention to execute the next stage of his plan for redemption. In simpler terms, He has always had a plan -- waiting for the ripened season to unveil it. He's had the entire panorama of all time before and behind Him always, and to zakar, or remember, means that He is about to release His grasp on the next piece of our redemption!

Saw – The Hebrew word here is ra’ah, used over 1300 times in the text. Ra'ah tells us that our God is observing and focusing His attention on His people.

When Cayden and I look at art work, we use old paper towel rolls cut in half and scan the pictures with these tubes. Tiny details and colors and brush strokes begin to stand by themselves for the short moment our tube passes over the entirety of the painting. When God 'sees' us He sees us as if we stand alone among the entire world's population. As though it is just the two of us standing there together.

Then in completion of that thought, as though these two opposites co-exist better as a whole:

Took Notice – Hebrew “yada” which means 'to know by seeing', similar to the way you stand in a crowd and know the faces of your family, except when applied to God it is also encompassing his omniscient power. When we see one or two faces in a crowd at a time, God sees, hears and knows the hearts of the entire crowd in an intimate way.

'Yada, yada, yada' will never be the same again!

How does this all tie together?

The beauty is this: Sometimes, we don't even have to use words, we can simply let our cries rise to the heavens. And God -- who hears a butterflies wings flutter, the condensation rise when warm breath meets winter air, and the dancing of little feet on dirt floors -- this God is sitting, still and silent, ready to listen intently. And when He has heard all we have to cry out He activates His next plan of redemption in our lives through Jesus, bending down to meet us face to face, so close he can trace the tears on our cheeks and collect them in His bottle. (Psalm 56.8)

And the beauty doesn't stop there, for just as He leans down to see us face to face, He equally orchestrates this entire body of believers so that they vacillate in and out of our lives in this choreographed dance of provision--teaching, encouraging, believing, discipling--so that we know His rescue from slavery is both earthly and eternal.

Simply said: Our prayers move God to both still attentiveness and saving action.

Zakar, God remembers.

If you have time for your own reading today, mark the entire chapter of Acts 10 and see its Greek counterpart of zakar: 'mnaomai.' It's the story of Peter and the Italian Regiment centurion, a man who is said to fear God and always pray.

And angel came to Cornelius and said his prayers and acts of charity have come up as a memorial offering before God...

v.30-31: Cornelius replied, “Four days ago at this hour, at three in the afternoon, I was pryaing in my house. Just then a man in a dazzling robe stood before me and said, “Cornelius, your prayer has been heard, and your acts of charity have been remembered in God’s sight…”

This story holds the same value to us (Gentiles) as the story of the woman at the well. Peter listens to the man speak and realizes that God has heard and remembered--meaning God desires for His next step in the plan of Cornelius' redemption to be carried out.

His entire household hears that Jesus does not show favoritism. Cornelius' household and all those who heard the message believed. The men present with Peter were astounded.

God heard. God remembered. God saw. God took notice. God sent an angel and Peter to Cornelius so that all could be adopted into our forever family.

God heard. God remembered. God saw. God took notice. God was about to send Moses to Israel so that all could be freed from the bondage of slavery.

God hears, God remembers, God sees, and He takes notice. Even when we can't put it into words and can barely manage the cries that escape our lips...

Slum of Souls

2011-02-26T05:37:00.000-08:00

Saint Augustine writes in Confessions, "Narrow are the mansions of my soul...expand upon it, Lord. It lies in ruins, repair it, Lord."

And I wonder if mansion isn't a relative term and if my soul is a slum where only God wants to live; where He finds beauty... and an unexpected symmetry.

Although only 8 a.m., my eyes have taken flight through a world of slums and returned to my home and yes, mansion depends upon one's vantage point. In a country where my shed is larger than these houses, I long to see Jesus...

Day 16 - Scent of Home

2011-02-25T04:55:00.000-08:00

We are in Exodus 2.15-21. You can read it here before you start.

Moses had a passion for justice, the courage to take action, the education of a prince, and a cause he longed to fight for. What was he lacking? What was missing in his years as Pharaoh’s grandson in the land of Egypt?

Pharaoh—the man who considered himself a god— and expected others to do the same. Egypt who sacrificed to Ra, the all important Sun god.

I think our man, Moses, needed a little seminary.

Here we are at the well. Moses had sat down in the customary place to position himself as a newcomer to town so that he might meet people and possibly find lodging for an evening or two.

2.16 “Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters. They came to draw water and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock. Then some shepherds drove them away, but Moses came to their rescue…”

Of course he did. Is there any bone within Moses that would have sat back and let seven shepherdesses be bullied by a band of men?

I can almost see God orchestrating this scene to get Moses’ attention. Stage commands: Moses sitting by well, looking sullen and hot and dirty. From left stage enters seven lovely maidens and their sheep. From right stage enters rowdy bunch of shepherds and their staffs. Moses’ head pops up. He leaps to his feet and waters the maidens entire flock himself.

Or maybe his eyes were already on the shepherdesses, fascinated this group of women and their flock.

But who are the Midianites? Why is this detail significant?

Turn to Genesis 25.1-6.

Midian was the son of Abraham and his second wife, Keturah, whom he married after Sarah died. She had the same concubine status as Hagar, and before his death, Abraham sent all of Keturah’s sons to the east—away from his son Isaac—bearing them gifts before they went.

This ‘eastward’ direction would have been the Arabian Peninsula. God had commanded for the land of Canaan to belong to Isaac and his descendants, so Abraham was ensuring obedience to God’s commands.

So, Midian was a son of Abraham, born to a concubine of Abraham’s household. Because of Abraham’s thick covenant with Yahweh, we can be sure he asked his household to worship the Living God. Midian would have been well-versed in the covenant between Abraham and God, the oral history of his family, and he would have taken that foundational knowledge with him to the lands of the east. The Midianites were desert dwellers—nomads—who eventually became enemies of Israel, but not yet here in Exodus.

And here was Moses, sitting at a well, waiting to meet someone of significance, when the seven daughters of Jethro, the Midianite, came to draw water and fill the troughs to water their father’s flock.

We are back in Exodus 2.18: When they returned to their father Reuel (also known as Jethro and Hobab, most often Jethro) he asked, “Why have you come back so quickly today?”

They answered, “An Egyptian rescued us from the shepherds. He even drew water for us and watered the flock.”

“So where is he?” he asked his daughters. “Why then did you leave the man behind? Invite him to eat dinner.”

An Egyptian rescued us…

Moses, the Hebrew who looked and sounded like an Egyptian, agreed to stay with Jethro the Midianite and married this man’s daughter, Zipporah. (2.21)

What did he learn in this household? The text doesn’t give us specifics, but if we cheat and turn forward to Exodus 18 (the entire chapter, but specifically verses 17-18, and 24) we see that Jethro is a very wise man who spoke truth into Moses life and instigated the model of government found in the book of Judges.

We’ll get there soon, but for right now, I just wanted to emphasize that God knew exactly what sort of ‘seminary’ in Hebrew Deity he was exposing Moses to for this season.

God is so good to position people in our lives whose words and actions will have eternal impact! We think we’re just tired and need a place to sit, but there is Jesus, waiting to show us the way.

Before we leave the scene at the well entirely, I want to challenge myself to learn this: When I am tired or ashamed and long to err on the side of reclusiveness—pulling far away from the world around me—I pray that God will teach me to do the opposite. I hope He’ll teach me to position myself in such a way that I am open to learn.

Because here is Moses, questioning the days of his future, and because he sat in a customary way to meet others, God continued to use him to tick off the number of days left in Israelite’s slavery—a cause that fueled the passion of Moses.

I am almost certain: during the moments when we desire nothing more than to be alone to lick our wounds, God is asking us to trust, and live full with others-- not void of life. Then we are useful to Him and He is free to do a Great Work in us and through us. Is it safe to say that all Great Works of God include people?

Final scene for us today:

Exodus 2.22 is the tightest angle we have used to view Moses' life. It's the birth of his first son. At first I questioned the name Moses chose for his son because it transfered his personal turmoil to his innocent seed. "Gershom," Moses said, "for I have been a foreigner in a foreign land."

Then I noticed: For I have been. As in past tense transfered to the tangible future.

To Moses, the face and coloring of Gershom must have been a clouded mirror and those tiny fists must have held a big spoon that stirred the story of Moses' own birth a little less lumpy.

Gershom sounds like 'a stranger there.' Not 'here.'

I wonder if Moses had found a home in the face of that child. The sentence of a foreigner revoked...

If that's a micro look on the life of Moses, we will be panning out to a macro look over the entire Arabian and Sinai Peninsula for the shift of 3 whole verses that comprise the last section of Exodus 2.

But they are intense and the words God uses paint a picture as large as all Israel combined...

Dizzy Compassion

2011-02-23T15:24:00.000-08:00

The day our girl came home...

We've been home eight months with Sage and my life spins dizzy with love for this child who rocked my world. I want to go back, I need to go back. There are more children and more stories and I have more room.

Not right now, my husband speaks firm words from a usually soft heart, so I know he means them.

My reply is all sass from a usually feisty heart: Then what? Because I look and see everyday the faces of children who were born in a different latitude and longitude than I and it just so happens they don't print US dollars in their satellite location. Those dollars are here--in my pocket--in my bank, along with the tax-dollar-schools and the paved roads and the shoes that cover the toes so rocks can't slip between the sole and rubber.

The food is here, lining the aisles of my half-dozen chains within driving distance. And the medicines? I have a clinic's worth on the top shelf of my linen closet.

So what can I do, dear husband, when you speak wise words my ears find bitter?

Pray you change your mind. I do that daily while I also thank God that he gave me a man whose feet are rooted on earth because I swear my head flies high in the clouds looking for a glimpse of glory.

But I also can contribute here. From the post of my birth-coordinates, in my aisles of plenty, I don't have to hold tight the dollars safely sitting in the bank--they can fly where I can't. They can touch the lives of those I won't. They can be Jesus to the ones I don't yet know by name.

Please consider sponsoring a Compassion Child. We are. And the dizzy compassion stills as His smile guides my pen on paper...

If you already sponsor a child, please post below one sliver of blessing you've had through this partnership across continents.

Or I know the name of a mighty fine adoption agency...

Day 15 - He Knows

2011-02-23T05:12:00.000-08:00

This scene moves quickly...Forgive the pace...

John 4.6 ... and Jesus, worn out from his journey, sat down at the well. It was about six in the evening.

Jesus, the man, was exhausted from travel, and yet he positioned himself to meet with the Samaritan woman while his disciples headed in town to get food. Jesus displays the opposite of what we know.

Even though tired, he positions himself to come face to face with a woman who desperately needed an encounter with the Messiah.

With his humanity exhausted, he was still strengthened for an encounter with his deity.

John 4.7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water.

Can you imagine the face of the Jesus she beheld? Dust caked the fine lines mapping his thirty years on earth. Elbows propped on his knees. Not having a clue who this dirty, traveling man was, I wonder if she diverted her eyes, and hoped she was invisible to him. If so, her reality was opposite of her hope because never had a man seen her with the clarity Jesus did:

“Give me a drink,” says Jesus to the Samaritan woman.

Jesus is the type of guy to wash men’s feet, die for our sins, pull water for a woman, and then ask her for a drink. And here is our Savior—he didn’t even say ‘please.’ So was he too tired to use manners or is there something else going on?

John 4.9 [The woman asks] “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?”

She’s smart and bold. I like her already. Jesus seems to enjoy the way she banters because he banters back:

John 4.10 “If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask him, and he would give you living water.”

There it is! The ‘something else going on.’

If you knew who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask him…

Jesus hadn’t just asked the woman for water, he had given her the correct line. He was telling her what to say. Prompting her cue. All she had to do was look, realize, and ask. She didn’t even have to say please because her salvation was NOT dependent on her manners. It relied on the face before her.

Does it not just floor you that Jesus offered salvation to others BEFORE he even got up on that cross? That’s how confident He was in the intimacy between His Father and Himself. That’s how devastating he knew His plan would be to eternity--crumbling the foundation of sin in our lives to such a degree that Jesus wanted to start now and the Father let Him.

4.11 “Sir,” said the woman, “You don’t even have a bucket, and the well is deep. So where do You get this ‘living water’? You aren’t greater than our father Jacob, are You? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and livestock.”

Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again. But whoever drinks from the water I give him will never get thirsty again—ever! In fact, the water I give him will become a well of water springing up within him for eternal life.”

“Sir, give me this water.”

Give me this water. This living water where I will never again suffer from the most primitive physical need of our flesh--thirst.

And she, the woman who had been married five times, who was engaged in another relationship that did not honor the OT law, found a Savior who knew her and still chose her to deliver an important message to her people.

4.21 “Believe me, woman, an hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know. We worship what we do know because salvation is from the Jews. But an hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father is spirit and truth. Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him…”

The message was revolutionary: He had come from the Jews but also for us Gentiles. Can you imagine the depth of painful humility he stirred within her as she realized how worthy He found her to be…to speak to her God’s appetite for all to know Him?

What did she do with this message? This woman who encountered deity at the well?

John 4.39 Now many Samaritans from that town believed in Him because of what the woman said when she testified, "He told me everything I ever did." Therefore they asked Him to stay with them, and He stayed there two days. Many more believed… “For we have heard for ourselves and know that this really is the Savior of the world.”

Breathless.

Jesus, in his human fatigue, positioned himself at a well to meet a woman,

and to that woman, he showed the Messiah,

and from that woman, and entire nation was saved.

And the truth was delivered that Jesus was not just a Jewish savior. He was God wrapped in flesh. Creator of all, and never was he more in tune with our humanity than he was in that one single moment of exhaustion when He chose to serve and to love regardless.

The parallel is this: before the week is over, we will see that God took a man—tired, exhausted, fugitive, Moses—and led him to a well in Midian. The middle of nowhere. Neither here nor there. And because Moses didn’t hide in a cave, throw himself off a cliff, disguise himself as a new man, or take a vow of hermitude—God positioned this man to save a nation.

God positioned sinful Moses to save a nation.

What can he do with us if we position ourselves before Him?

By the way, she never pulled Jesus that drink of water. He set aside his own physical needs to pour water into her spiritual thirst.

My heart is full of Him this morning.

Day 14 - Belonging Nowhere

2011-02-21T05:31:00.000-08:00

I wonder if Moses wished he’d buried himself beneath that sand. I wonder if he once thought his life would be more valuable beneath the earth than on it.

He hadn't the foresight to know God would use him to lead 2.1 million men, women, and children out Egypt and abolish the enslavement of Israel. He couldn't imagine his life would have such eternal impact. So I wonder if—for even a moment—he contemplated the worthlessness of his contribution on earth. After all, he’d just killed a man.

Intentionally.

Let's look again at what Exodus scripture says:

2.11 “He went out to his own people [with the intention] of observing their forced labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people.”

2.12 “He looked all around [with the intention of killing this Egyptian] and seeing no one, he struck the Egyptian dead and hid him in the sand.”

2.13 “The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you attacking your neighbor?”

“Who made you a leader and a judge over us?”

“You.” And “Us.”

Is it just me, or can you hardly believe Moses returned after the disastrous day before?

That Hebrew was reminding Moses that in this labor camp there were only two groups of people: the Slaves and their Drivers. Us and Them. Guess which group the Hebrews placed Moses. He wasn't "their people."

Could there ever be a moment when this man felt more alone? He knew his actions were punishable by Egyptian law. When Pharaoh found out was Moses had been up to, he would rightly assume his adopted grandson had been pondering the atrocities committed against the Hebrews. Moses would become a traitor in the king's house.

This meant that right now—at this moment—Moses was neither Egyptian nor Hebrew.

Neither culture would claim Moses as their own which left Moses standing guard at a sand pile of secrets that was a tangible reminder he had murdered his future.

What could he do?

Exodus 2. 14b-15a:

“Then Moses became afraid and thought: What I did is certainly known. When Pharaoh heard about this, he tried to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh…”

Moses became a fugitive.

I have Paul McCartney’s song, Band on the Run in my head this morning…

A fugitive. A man who runs from justice. Now this is ironic, because Moses went out to observe the Hebrews because he had been thinking and coming up short with a good answer as to why they were burdened by Egypt’s heavy hand. For you history buffs, think William Willberforce or Martin Luther King Jr. Hatred for injustice was now the fuel behind his fugitive status.

I used to run away a lot. My mom wouldn’t let me wear jeans with holes all through the ‘precious’ areas, even with Umbros beneath them (I just dated myself) and I was certain she was tyrannical and unfair. So I would run away to my friends’ homes whose parents didn’t burn their jeans.

Looking back, I don’t think that my mom was dishing up a huge platter of injustice. In fact, she may have been more fair than I am with my own kids…

But this wasn’t that type of running away and this wasn’t that type of injustice and this wasn’t Moses wanting to wear the leadership pants.

What we have here is a man who had hoped he could do something, anything, for the Hebrews and in return, he dreamed of earning acceptance from his people one day. He had hoped that God had put him in Pharaoh's house to make a difference. His feet roamed a palace but his heart labored for the Israelite slaves.

When Moses ran from Pharaoh, from Egypt, he was running from all the righteous anger that burned purpose in his palms.

He was running away from the power and authority he might have had to relieve the burden of just one slave.

He was running away from his Egyptian childhood, abandoning hope he’d had for an Israelite future.

He was a man on the run who had desperately wanted to be called to some Higher Purpose.

And just when we think we’ve lost all hope of that greater calling, we hit the wall of God’s Being.

We once were lost, but now are found.

2.15b says: …and went to live in the land of Midian, and sat down by a well.

Midian. Middle ground. Neither here, nor there. And sat down by a well.

Why should we care where Moses sits?

John 4.4

"...and Jesus, worn out from His journey, sat down at the well..."

We'll sit with them on Wednesday.

Cotton Grass, Iceland

2011-02-19T04:49:00.001-08:00

"...Is a Wonder"

2011-02-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

She stands beside me on her stool
trying to keep balance while stirring
and it takes all her strength.

Strength to move the spoon
to hold the bowl, to knead the dough.
"My birthday pizza mama makes."

Makes a mess, is what mama thinks.
Until that small arm wraps around my waist
so she can steady her weight.

Wait. Don't move. I need to breath you in,
Little One, for these small moments are fleeting
Your heart beating away from me.

Me, the one who wraps my arm around you
because really, I'm the one
who is undone.

Undone by your eyes, by your smile, by your smell.
And while I try to absorb that you're my daughter
I thank Him...whisper 'She'...

Day 13 - Sand Piles of Secrets

2011-02-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

He narrowly escaped infanticide as a child and through his salvation of adoption he matured inside a foreign culture--a culture he one day questioned. Meet Moses. He was a murderer, argumentative, and insecure. [MG1]

Still, God chose this man to lead an entire nation out of slavery and into the very boundaries Abraham had trekked through 465 years before Moses’ birth.

By the time Moses was born in 1526 B.C., Israel had been enslaved and oppressed for 350 years. Remember that passage we read between Abram and God yesterday? God told Abram his descendants would be enslaved but would exit victorious.

Here was God’s leading man in the last act of that play. And Moses was far from perfect. Perhaps this is why I am drawn to him so much…

Turn to Exodus 2.11-15 (HCSB) [MG2] to read about the sin of Moses.

“Years later, after Moses had grown up, he went out to his own people and observed their forced labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. Looking all around and seeing no one, he struck the Egyptian dead and hid him in the sand. The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, 'Why are you attacking your neighbor?'

'Who made you a leader and judge over us?' The man replied. 'Are you planning to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?'

Then Moses became afraid and thought: What I did is certainly known..."

What do we know of this man?

- He was a Hebrew adopted into Egyptian culture.

- Academics assume that Moses is the author of Torah (Hebrew for ‘law’) we are getting a third person narrative of his personal account of growing up in Egypt.

- The theory here is that Moses wrote down the accounts of Genesis and Exodus during his 40 years in the wilderness.

So if we know that this is an autobiography written in the 3^rd person, take a closer look at verse 11.

He went out to his own people and observed their forced labor.

He was having a crisis with his own identity. He resided on Egyptian soil as royalty but his back broke beneath the burden of watching ‘his own people.’ He had intentionally placed himself in a place of observation because he no longer wanted to remain silent.

God had created a man within Moses who was impassioned by injustice.

How much had he seen growing up as Pharaoh’s adopted son? Was the gentle heart of his adopted mother in stark contrast to the power-driven appetite of his adopted father?

And as Moses stood beneath the desert sun his anger burned.

2.11b “He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his people. Looking all around and seeing no one, he struck the Egyptian dead and __________________________________________[MG3] .”

He hid his sin in the sand.

He buried it from view.

He tried to mask what the unrighteousness of his righteous anger.

How many times do we, like Moses, try to hide the evidence of our sin in the sand? We know it’s buried there. We know God knows the exact offense and location. We know freedom comes from confession.

But we keep it buried and are tempted to stand guard so no one realizes our less than perfection.

Luke 12.2 says:

"There is nothing covered that won’t be uncovered, nothing hidden that won’t be make known. Therefore, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in an ear in private rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops."

Oh my.

What are we to do?

Realize that everyone around us is guarding a pile of sand and stop comparing their sand-lump to ours.

Realize that God’s already uncovered that pile and declared it forgiven. If we’ll just ask, He’ll tell us all about it.

Oh, and don’t forget that God isn’t finished with us yet. Sometimes, like Moses, that sand pile of sin represents the catalyst of our humanly bodies into God’s fine purpose. The Holy Calling that only really begins when we understand his grace and forgiveness.

Moses, an Egyptian name meaning ‘to draw out,’ was given to him by his Egyptian mother because she ‘drew him out’ of the Nile, but God's spirit was obviously involved in the naming of this child.

Moses. Drawn Out. Drawn out of infanticide. Drawn out of sin. Drawn out of Egypt. Drawn out of faithlessness and into God presence.

Can it be this: If we allow God to draw out our raw confessions, that he will deposit freedom where guilt once resided?

[MG1]Later talk about 2.15 and the obviously lack of benefit of doubt from earthly father vs. the favor shown by heavenly father.

[MG2]Change Abraham to HCSB

[MG3]Hid him in the sand.Secret Canyon Utah

Simply Beautiful

2011-02-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

It makes cooking so much more fun...

88% isn't bad.

Big shoes to fill...

Yes, sweet girl, it is at your fingertips.

How could I not?

We Argue

2011-02-17T05:38:00.000-08:00

There exists in me a paradox

--perhaps humanity itself--

For love eclipses my day

and locks me for a time

my arms dropped wondrous

as I relish

bedtime tales

his embrace

years.

Life.

Yet the same tongue which spins memories

injects love with a truth poison--

Confirms insecurities

Spews regrets of promise

And when love crumples

I kick her more.

Just to be

sure she's

Dead.

Stop.

Is it

possible?

To be one, not

the other--which hurts

those around me and me.

I amputate trust through tears.

Healing must begin-now-for I

need the entire body to love full.

With [our tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who are made in God's likeness. James 3.9

Day 12 - Speaking Promise

2011-02-16T05:28:00.000-08:00

Photo by Rob Nunn

One last passage with Abraham so we may properly introduce ourselves to the next unlikely leader. Genesis 15.13-16:

Then the Lord said to Abram, “Know this for certain: Your offspring will be foreigners in a land that does not belong to them; they will be enslaved and oppressed _____[MG1] years. However, I will judge the nation they serve, and afterwards they will go out with many possessions. But you will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a ripe old age. In the _________[MG2] generation they will return here, for the iniquity of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure.”

This is the scene we have been building toward, do you know? The fullness of the Abrahamic covenant playing out before our very eyes right here. The sun sets and a flaming torch and smoking fire pot appear before Abram and pass between the halves of sacrifice before Him.

And the Lord was more than content to enter into this covenant. It pleased Him.

The Lord delights in promises.

Isn’t that something? In a world today where we take the spoken word so lightly, God used the low utterances of his voice in the grand scheme of creation, but also in the simplicity of relationship. God to man, God to woman—He delights in speaking Promise.

Even more, He delights in keeping it.

Old Testament: Old Promise

New Testament: New Promise

Abram, God said, things are going to get a little hairy for those offspring I talked to you about. But I don’t want you to worry—instead, I want you to know I love you and I’ve got them covered.

Abraham is believed to have died in 1991 B.C. at 175 years old.

Israel entered into slavery with Egypt around 1876 B.C.

What’s interesting is that unlike later books in the OT, the entering of slavery for the Hebrews here is purely based on God’s blessing. They were too blessed. It drew the attention of a new Pharoah in the land of Egypt and this new Pharaoh felt threatened by the growing population of Israel.

Israel. Why were they so close to Egypt anyhow? Hadn’t God promised them Canaan? Several hundred miles north?

The answer is in Genesis 46.3-7

verse 3 - God said, "I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there.

You remember the story of Joseph and his multicolored robe? Sold into slavery, imprisoned because of a scorned woman, released due to his ability to interpret dreams, promoted to ruler of the entire kingdom second only to the current king? Remember the 7 years of plenty and the 7 years of famine?

Jacob, also known as Israel, moved his family to the outskirts of Egypt during these 7 years of famine. The lands around were completely barren and the people were poor and impoverished. From miles around families were petitioning Egypt for more grain. First they bought grain with money and then when Joseph had all the money in the land, they bought grain in barter for their farm animals. When Joseph had all the farm animals in the land, they purchased grain in exchange for their private property and themselves. They bartered themselves into slavery with Egypt. (Read here: Genesis 47.13-26)

All except Joseph’s family—his father Jacob and the 70 persons who comprised his immediate household. Jacob (Israel) was granted the land of Goshen outside Egypt and because of his son’s prestigious position in Egypt had all the grain his household needed.

And they grew.

Boy did they grow.

Read Exodus 1.1-14 in preparation for Friday. For those of you following online and through your phones, etc…link up to You Verson: a free app that is pretty amazing.

[MG1]400

[MG2]Fourth

Morning Sun

2011-02-15T04:55:00.000-08:00

Dawn breaks and I
stand tall beneath her.
Stretching, bending, growing,
Just so I can catch her
and in that reflection
send her back so she
may know beauty.